Formula One ~ One Shots/ Requests Open!

Depression (Pierre Gasly)

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!
In this story the main theme is depression, anxiety and problems like that. If you don't want to or aren't able to read stories with that topic, please leave this story out. Furthermore I want to add that I'm dealing with those problems for many years know and that this sickness feels different for every person who's concerned with it. I don't want to show up my own experience in this story, that's too private for me.

Please let me know what you think about it and as always a big thanks to my girls who helped me and motivated me to write stories ❤

Words:1789

I've had the worst childhood you could ever imagine and as a result of that, I got diagnosed with depression many years ago. When I started dating Pierre, I told him what was wrong with me but, he promised he would still love me, no matter what.

One year ago, Red Bull was searching for a new PR assistant for him. Luckily, they choose me. This was our chance to spend as much time as possible together. Today was my day off and Pierre went alone to work because he only had to do some training and simulator practice. I was sitting on our bed, watching one of my favorite movies when my phone started to show up new notifications. At the last race a good friend of Pierre visited him at a race ( you can choose which). Now she posted some of the pictures they took together with a lot of compliments and hearts. He commented "Had such a great time with you sweetie, I can't wait to see you again ❤️".

I didn't want to be the kind of person that is non stop jealous but as I read this and took a closer look at both of them it broke my heart. The way he looked at her and smiled when their eyes met hurt me. I wanted to stop thinking about it, he'd never be the kind of boyfriend that cheats on his girlfriend. I caught myself again and again, staring at their pictures. I felt my eyes getting more and more full with tears and eventually, they streamed down my face. Compared to her, I'm ugly and hideous. 'Maybe he's just sacred to brake up with me because he doesn't know how I'd react because of the sickness ' my mind told me. I try to fight against that thought in my mind and started concentrating more on the movie I was watching as my phone lights up again. 'Such a beautiful woman' Pierre commented on one of her older pictures. As much as I'm trying to fight against that feeling it won't stop. I feel the tears getting more and more. He can't be honest with me. His previous girlfriend was pretty, stunning and breathtakingly pretty, just like that girl he's flirting with at the moment. Compared to them I'm nothing. Pierre knew that my depression got worse in the last couple of months and I promised him I would try as hard as I could to not do anything stupid. So I stood up and opened the window. Maybe I need some fresh air to clear my head and breath out all of the bad thoughts. But as soon as I opened it I realized that some air wouldn't change the fact that he doesn't love me anymore or maybe never even had feelings for me. So I slammed the window and broke down in the middle of the floor in our bedroom. I couldn't stop my self from crying anymore and I hated myself for it. But not only myself, I mostly hated him for doing this to me. As I'm looking round the room, I see my embarrassing self in our big mirror. I move closer to it and stare. I have red eyes, completely smudged with make-up. The black mascara lines are drawn down my cheeks. My (your hair colour) hair looks really messy and greasy. I honestly don't know how to cope with my feelings anymore and without thinking I smash the mirror and take one of the glass pieces...

Perspective Pierre

I'm walking in the direction of my garage once my break is over. Stuck in my thoughts, I feel a hand lay down on my shoulder. With a wide smile on my face I turn around but as I look at the face of my teammate Max the smile gets washed out of my face.

"Eyyyy come on, I'm not that ugly!" Max jokes.

"I'm sorry... I just expected someone different." I respond with a disappointed sound in my voice.