I Was Joking

Can We Talk About Something Else?

*Thank you for the oofs, frens. This whole ordeal has been frustrating, and painful, and I needed to meme it. Memes numb the pain.

I got some x-rays done, and they think I fractured a bone. But I'm not supposed to put any pressure on the leg, which means...

I have to use the crutches.

Which I hate.

Very strongly.

Rip.*

Six-year-old Peter woke up with a start, wriggling out of bed to get ready for the day. It took him a little bit, but the child was still ready before breakfast. Frankly, he was ready before everyone else was even awake.

Deciding to be nice, Peter got on the counter and made a pot of coffee for everyone. While waiting for the pot to pour, the boy watched an older cartoon.

Steve eventually came down, pouring himself a cup to read the newspaper with. The Captain ruffled Peter's hair, which he groaned in response with. "No touchie!", the boy remarked, covering it with his hands. In retaliation, Peter ran back into the kitchen and scaled to the higher counters.

The boy dutifully pulled out two mugs and poured the cups of coffee into them. Satisfied, he set the mugs onto a tray and started walking towards his parents' room. The other team members that emerged from their rooms saw him on their way to the common room. When they did, the heros gave Peter a little smile, but not much else. They learned yesterday to not interrupt Peter Parker when the boy had that look of determination in his eyes.

Friday quietly opened the door for the boy, who was staring at the floor in concentration. Peter quietly walked in and set the full mug by Tony's side of the bed, who was still sound asleep. The child smiled proudly, giving the sleeping man a tight hug. "Morning, Daddy.", he greeted, repeating the process on Pepper's side. "Morning, Mommy.", he whispered, giving the woman a soft kiss on the cheek.

Nodding curtly in pride, the boy took his tray back to the kitchen, where he was greeted by the rest of the team. "Heya, Pete.", Sam greeted. Oddly enough, he was the only one who didn't treat Peter any differently than when he was normal. Well, that being said, Sam ALWAYS treated Peter like he was ten, so it wouldn't be that far of a stretch.

"G'morning!", he chirped, jumping onto a chair where he poured himself some cereal. "How are you feeling?", Bruce asked, question laced with concern, but his face was more amused than anything else.

"Pretty sleepy. Prolly gonna eat then go back to bed.", Peter admitted before practically inhaling the breakfast. "I'm not surprised. Your body's burning both ends of the candle to get you better.", the doctor thought aloud. "So get some rest, tall child!", Peter quoted off the top of his head, making himself giggle. Bruce noted the common pattern in the child's speech, but chuckled at the reference.

When Peter was done inhaling his breakfast, he quickly cleaned up after himself and crawled back into bed. The now-awake Tony barely missed him, opening the door to his room as soon as Peter was asleep.

The man gave a lighthearted chuckle, walking up next to him and giving a little kiss on his head. "Thanks for the coffee bud.", the father said while running a gentle hand through the boy's curls. "Sorry I didn't get to tell you that while you were awake."

After a moment, the man got up and left towards his lab. Where he was welcomed by Banner. "Brucie Bear, what can I do for ya?", Stark asked, all too chipper.

"Well, I finished synthesizing Pete's painkillers.", the doctor announced. "I sent the formula over to Cho." Tony nodded curtly. "Good. Lord knows she's been asking for one since last time.", the mechanic remarked, pulling out a couple of tools.

"Well, that, and...", Bruce trailed off, ignoring Tony's annoyed look. "I believe Peter may have had Aspergers. Before the bite.", Banner nervously stated. Tony smacked his lip, turning a little to the side in thought. "Well, that might explain a little.", Stark responded, still in thought about everyone's behavior around him. Still, the man shrugged, and got back to work. "Will that be all, Doctor?", he remarked with a slight smile. Bruce returned the smile, shaking his head and leaving.

It must have been a few hours, because the next visitor was Peter, carrying a plate of lunch. He set it next to the man and gave him a big hug. "Good afternoon!", the nine-year-old chirped with a smile. Tony set the tools down and returned it. "Afternoon, buddy. Whatcha got there?", he asked. "Pepper made lunch for you.", the boy declared, pushing the plate closer once they let go.

"Thanks bud. I'll eat it later." "Why not now?", Peter countered, smirking. "You wanna set a good example, right?" "Oh hush, you're just as bad as I am.", Tony remarked, poking Peter in his ticklish spots. The child giggled, moving quickly to defend himself. His father laughed with him, eventually just pulling Peter into a noogie.

After Peter pulled away, the boy pulled up a chair and inspected what Tony was working on, before his short attention span made him speak up. "May and Ben didn't really let me watch a lot of TV. What were you like in 2010?", he asked absentmindedly, still watching his father work. He immediately realized what he asked and regretted it when he saw his father freeze.

"S-sorry! I'm sorry, I—I—", the boy stuttered, curling in again before realizing his behavior. Oh jeez, he's been doing it again, hasn't he? Even when the bite fixed him, he slipped back. "I'm sorry.", Peter mumbled, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"Hey, hey.", Tony coaxed, getting to Peter's eye level. "It's alright. You're fine." "No it's not! I'm not...", the child huffed in frustration with himself. "Forget it. Just..." "C'mon Pete, breathe with me.", the man instructed, exaggerating his own. "In, out. In, out."

After Peter calmed down, he sat back in his chair. "'M sorry for being weird. Thought the spider bite fixed me; I guess I just kinda slipped back into it.", the boy mumbled.

"Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong.", his father coaxed. "Absolutely nothing wrong."

There was a pause of quiet, before Tony stepped back and quietly stated, "And to answer your question, that year was kind of crazy. Probably a good thing you didn't watch much news. Really stuck my head out of my a**, for multiple reasons." He breathed out a humorless laugh. "In hindsight, I should've noticed some of them sooner."

Peter, being the room reader he is, got up and leaned against his father. "Thanks.", Tony said, gratefully taking the comfort.

"I saw a few doctors that year, but they were never able to tell what's wrong with me. But I knew something was. By the time I realized what it was, the bite fixed me.", Peter explained, voice quiet. "That was the freakiest part of the transformation.", he admitted. "I bet.", Tony remarked, making his son smile a little.

They pulled apart after a minute, Peter leaving the room with a content tone. "Eat your lunch!", he called out from behind, before running to the common room.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of Earth's mightiest heros duking it out to decide who gets to spend more time with child-Peter before he transformed into his teens.