Losing the Halo||Solby

Calm || Colby

"He isn't coming back tonight, Colbs." Colby lifted his head slightly at the sound of his roommates voice. Elton was sitting up in his bed, ready to finally fall asleep. 

"I don't understand," Colby ran a hand through his hair, "this is so unlike him. Sam always comes home." 

"You're making him sound like a dog," Corey commented from farther in the room. Colby rolled his eyes and flipped his other roommate off. Sam wasn't just some dog to Colby. The blonde was his best friend, his other half.... Colby didn't understand what Sam was to him, but he knew he loved Sam more than any dog. 

"It's dangerous out there after dark." Colby put his jacket on. "I'm going to go find him." 

"Absolutely not." Elton threw his covers off and walked over to Colby. "This city is bigger than anything and you're right, it's dangerous. That is exactly why you aren't going alone. Sam is a big boy, Colby. He will be fine." 

"And if he isn't?" Colby hated when Elton was right. 

"Don't be so dramatic, Colby. You aren't married to him." Elton went back to his bed. "Let Sam breathe." 

Colby nodded once, his roommates words hitting hard. He wasn't married to Sam and he never would be. Sam was just a friend. They weren't even related. Colby had no claim to worry about the blonde boy. 

He closed his eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep on the hotel couch, unable to stop thinking about Sam. 

=six hours later=

"Colby." 

Harsh sunlight streamed into the hotel room. Colby opened his eyes and rubbed away the sleep. 

"Colby, have you heard from Sam?" Elton was putting his shirt on while Corey was listening to a dial tone. 

"I - no, I thought he would have come home by now." Colby threw his covers back and ran to his phone. Clicking the screen on, he frantically checked to see if his best friend had left any messages. 

"He won't pick up his phone." Corey walked over to the window and searched outside. 

"I told you we shouldn't have left him out there!" Colby threw his phone on the counter, ignoring the cracking sound. He whipped around to face Elton, anger and worry mixing and boiling together. 

"Colby, calm down -" 

"We left him out there alone and now he's missing! This is your fault, Elton! What if he's hurt or - or -" Colby turned and punched the wall next to him. If Sam was hurt, he would never forgive himself. What kind of best friend was he if he couldn't even help Sam? 

"Colby, you need to calm down." Elton kept his face clear of emotion. 

Colby opened his mouth to apologize to his roommate, but the sound of a door opening cut him off. He looked past Elton, relief washing over him as Colby watched Sam stumble into the room and onto the couch. 

"Sam, Jesus Christ, are you ok?" Corey ended the outgoing call and rushed over to Sam. 

Colby just watched, unable to move for a second as Sam weakly pushed Corey and Elton away. It was the sound of Sam's voice that jolted Colby from his shock. 

"I have a killer freaking headache and there were all these lights and...." Sam trailed off, his eyes meeting Colby's. The blonde smiled widely, patting a spot next to him. "Colby, there were all these girls dancing and you would have loved them and -" 

"Are you drunk?" Was all Colby could ask. 

Sam bit his bottom lip the way he always did when he was thinking of a lie. "No." 

"Where did you even go to get this drunk?" Corey had returned with a glass of water and handed it to Sam. 

"I had," Sam took a drink, "a lot on my mind," another drink, "and this fan took me to a club." Sam downed the rest of his water before holding the cup out for Corey to take. 

"And you just decided to go?" Colby shook his head in disbelief. "What the fuck were you thinking, Sam?" 

"Woah, man, why are you so angry?" Sam still had that drunken smile on his face. "Until you put a damn ring on my finger, I can do whatever the fuck I like." 

Colby ignored the gay joke, bewildered. In the span of two days, Sam had went from his best friend and the most genuine person he knew to a complete asshole. Colby shook his head and grabbed Sam's shoulder. 

"I'm angry because you left without letting anyone know what exactly you were doing!" Colby could feel his voice breaking. "Do you know how worried I fucking was?" 

Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed. "You sure you weren't just thinking of that fan girl? Scarlett? Maybe if you hit that, then you'd be chiller." 

Colby resisted the urge to hit his bestfriend. Instead he threw him a blanket and walked to the door. Now it was him who needed space to breathe. "Just sleep it off, Sam." 

There was no reply as Colby slid his feet into some slides and walked out the door. The Sam inside the hotel room was not the Sam that he loved, Colby reminded himself. It was not the Sam who had captured his heart. He had fallen in love with a gentle and sweet boy and - 

Colby froze in the middle of the hallway. 

He had fallen in love with Sam. He did just love the blonde boy - he was in love with the blonde boy. Colby felt something inside him break free. He would still go on his walk. He would still need to think things over. But he was going to care for Sam more than ever now. 

It all made sense. Colby knew he had felt something weird for his friend. Something he wasn't ready to deal with.  

And then Colby remembered Katrina. 

Sam had a girlfriend that he was in love with. He'd never be able to love Colby back the way Colby was beginning to learn how he loved Sam. Sam wasn't gay and he couldn't know that Colby was either. Ever. 

Colby continued out the building, letting the cold New York air wash over him. Only one thought remained - God, how had everything gone so wrong?