Losing the Halo||Solby

Trying || Colby

Colby knew everyone in the house was trying as hard as they could.

Corey and Jake had kept Sam busy, refusing to let him have a moment of peace. Elton was always watching, and Colby noticed when deep into the night, their 'Uncle' would creep down the hallway and peer into Sam's room. They all would at some point, too afraid of leaving him alone long enough to let him try and kill himself again. Sam was everything they had - everything Colby had - and they wouldn't almost lose him again.

But there was an ache in his heart. The happiness everyone had felt in the hospital had soon faded once everyone settled down. Sam had smiled and played his happy part, but Colby knew he was battling something inside still.

They hadn't kissed again either....

It was two weeks since that day and Sam hadn't moved to kiss or touch Colby again. And he hadn't returned to sleeping in the brunette's bed either. But he didn't want to push Sam harder than the blonde would be ready to be pushed.

Colby supposed he should just be grateful that his best friend and possible love of his life was even alive.

"Colby, you wanna go get dinner?" Corey and Jake were in his doorway. He could see Sam's room, the door cracked open.

"Is Sam coming?" Colby had anxiety every time someone mentioned leaving the blonde alone.

"Careful or you'll become clingy," Jake teased. Colby took that as a no.

"Maybe not -"

"You never go anywhere anymore!" Jake whined. He jumped into Colby's bed and pouted. "You're becoming more gloomy than Sam!"

Colby didn't appreciate the joke. "Watch it," he growled at Jake.

"If he doesn't want to go then he shouldn't have to," Corey offered Colby a small nod, "let's go before we're late."

"So now that you and Sam are a thing, the rest of us get thrown to the curb?" Jake shook his head and walked away.

"He doesn't mean it," Corey said. "We're just trying our best to help."

"I know," Colby muttered, but his body still felt tense. After they left, Colby heard Sam's door creak open.

His heart picked up a bit, before deflating as he watched Katrina dart from Sam's room and down the stairs. Inside, he could see Sam sitting dejectedly on his bed.

What the hell was Katrina doing in Sam's room? And why was the door shut?

Colby felt his jealousy flare and he stood up. Barging into Sam's room, he crossed his arms and stared down at the blonde boy.

"What was she doing here?" Colby couldn't help the anger in his voice.

Frankly, he was done playing these games. One minute Sam was gay and kissing Colby, the next he was off with Katrina.

"We were just talking." There was a sadness in Sam's voice.

"About?"

"I told her that I wasn't in love with her and that she needed to move on," Sam looked up to Colby, "and that I wanted my stuff back."

A small air of relief released itself from Colby's chest. He uncrossed his arms and sat next to Sam. The closeness was enough to spark an electric reaction inside Colby and he resisted the urge to reach over and kiss him....

....and do more.

Colby had thought about sex with Sam for a long time now. Every night he wondered exactly what would happen if Sam walked into his room to cuddle. Could things escalate? Colby would certainly try to make that happen.

"Colby, I don't think I'm ready for this." Sam's words rang through the air. In an instant, Colby's fantasies disappeared.

"What do you mean?"

"I put everyone through a lot because I wasn't focused on my problems. I put Katrina through a lot and I won't do it to you." Sam was back to looking at his hands.

Colby's ears rang at the sound of Katrina's name. Somehow everything led back to her. The passion and heat he got from looking at Sam froze over. He became cold inside and every emotion seemed so far away. He was hollow inside.

"So you kiss me and then you push me away?" Colby shook his head. "I'm done with these games, Sam."

"I'm not playing a game!" Sam protested. "My mental and physical health isn't a game!"

Colby laughed dryly. "Then what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get better. For you." Sam sounded broken.

Colby's heart softened a bit. He plopped back down next to Sam and shook his head.

"You're right. I've been so focused on being something more that I forgot how to be your friend." Colby felt guilty.

"We both are making mistakes," Sam whispered.

"Let me help you through this, Sam. No strings attached." Colby took Sam's hand. "No kisses. No sleeping in bed together. No expectations. Just the friendship we've always had."

Sam nodded, pulling Colby in for a hug.

"And when you're ready, we can do this for real." Colby kissed Sam's hand before placing it onto the blonde's leg.

"Thank you, Colby," Sam murmured. Tears slipped down his red face.

"You can thank me by featuring in a film with me. I think it's time Sam and Colby got back to their fans," Colby laughed, "the XPLR gods won't be happy we've neglected them."

Sam laughed with his bestfriend. And Colby felt like things would get better. Just maybe not at the pace he wanted.