Losing the Halo||Solby

Choose || Sam

=Hey Guys, listen to this song (stolen from my cousin) because it perfectly describes how Sam feels about Colby in this chapter

Life had almost returned to normal.... 

Except Sam had started sleeping in Colby's bed more often. And he had stopped filming. And he was still so...confused. And scared. Sam was so, so, so scared. What would happen if the house found out that Sam and Colby had started kissing and doing whatever it was they did? 

Sam dressed himself like normal and started walking down the stairs, only to hear Colby and Jake talking from the kitchen. The blonde stopped to listen, smiling at the sound of Colby's voice. 

"I just can't stand to leave him alone for too long," Colby was saying. 

Sam could hear Jake laugh before replying, "Careful, Colbert, or you'll start to sound gay." 

Quickly, Colby snorted and said, "I'm not a fag!" 

The response was almost too quick. Sam felt his heart clench inside his chest. He could remember kissing Colby so many times over the few weeks he had been home. He had let Colby play with his hair and run his hands down Sam's chest and arms and back and.... Sam got red just thinking about it. 

"Well, it's good to hear you still have time to like girls," Jake was still laughing, "which means you should come to a party that Brennen is hosting." 

"But, Sam -" 

"Sam is fine, Colby. He needs to learn how to breath on his own now." Jake's voice sounded exasperated. Sam couldn't listen anymore. 

The blonde walked around the corner, revealing himself to the two boys by the counter. Colby lifted his hand and started to say hi before seeing the seething look on Sam's face and frowning. 

"What's wrong, Sam?" Colby glanced from Sam to Jake and then back to Sam. 

Jake looked slightly worried too, but it wasn't as if he cared. Sam could barely stand to even look at his friend of so many years. How could Jake just disregard him like that? Although he supposed it was easy to disregard a broken boy. Nobody wanted broken things. 

"Nothing, I just wanted water." Sam grabbed a bottle and started back up the stairs. He ignored the footsteps following him. 

"Sam, wait!" Colby's hand flew to stop Sam from closing his bedroom door and the brunette forced his way in. 

Sam kept his back towards Colby as he fumbled with the water bottle cap, hoping he would just go away. The blonde couldn't understand why Colby played with him like this? Why kiss him and then say it meant nothing? Why sleep next to Sam for nights without end and then say Sam needed to learn how to be on his own? 

"Sam, tell me what's wrong." Colby whipped Sam around, causing him to spill his water. 

With a dry laugh, Sam dropped his water and threw his hands up. "Careful, Colby, you're gonna sound like a fag. But you aren't right?" 

Colby's eyes were wide, but Sam kept going. "You just go around kissing boys for fun? You just play with my emotions because it's fun? Because you're not possibly gay at all, right? Go with Jake, Colby, because if you stay here you'll only regret it." 

Colby looked hurt as he watched Sam turn away. In a quiet whisper, Colby said, "I already do," and walked out of the room. Sam just stared at the window, watching as Jake and Colby left the house and climbed into Jake's car. 

Sam didn't understand why he even bothered trying. What was the point of living if he could never be happy? He thought of Cory and Elton and how he had promised both of them he'd never try to kill himself again. 

But Sam didn't owe either of them anything. He didn't owe anybody and he didn't have to keep his promises. Not when everyone else was breaking theirs. 

Nobody cared, and neither did Sam. 

=six hours later= 

Colby had brought home a girl. 

The entire house could hear the two in the bedroom - the girl in particular. Sam had tried turning his music up. He had tried to putting in headphones and singing loudly to himself. 

But nothing could block out the thoughts of a girl in Colby's bed. In the bed where he had been sleeping less than forty eight hours ago. In a bed where he had been kissing Colby rather passionately. 

Sam hissed, throwing his phone as tears began to prick his eyes. 

He was a fool for thinking Colby could love Sam the way Sam loved Colby. The brunette was probably only going along with the kisses and nighttime snuggles because he didn't want Sam to go off the deep end again. Yes, that had to be why. Colby had been pretending for Sam. 

So Sam would have to pretend too. 

He'd have to forget Colby and the kisses and the everything else between them. 

With a heavy heart, Sam picked up his phone and dialed the only person he knew would get him away from Colby. 

*ring

*ring

*ring

"Hello? Sam?" 

"Katrina?" 

=====================

Hey guys, sorry for the absentness lately. 

School has just kicked back up so I've been a little busy but here's a new chapter for ya'll!! 

Also, just a disclaimer, I hate the word 'fag' but I use it because it shows just how hurtful these words can be. Just remember how hurtful words can be ya'll!