Losing the Halo||Solby

Before || Sam

His head was pounding. 

Jesus Christ, his head fucking hurt! 

Sam Golbach rolled over, searching the room for something familiar. In a corner, he could see his suitcase and his XPLR bag that he brought when he went to film abandoned videos. In another corner sat his roommate Corey. 

How did he even get home? 

Sam sat up, rubbing his eyes and searched for Colby. Where the hell was Colby? 

"Good morning, Sunshine!" Corey looked at Sam from behind his laptop, grinning like a madman. 

"What happened last night?" Sam had gone out for a walk and then he had met a fan and then.... He couldn't remember what had happened after that. 

"We could ask you the same damn thing." Elton appeared from the bathroom, a worried look on his face. Good old Uncle Elton, the boys all called him. He was more like a dad. 

"I met a fan and we went to a club and...." 

And then Sam remembered. He remembered coming home to Colby freaking out at Elton. He remembered the yelling and the angry looks and the gay joke. Oh god, had Sam just outed himself? Was that why Colby wasn't around? Did he hate Sam now?

Sam groaned, his head dipping to rest into his hands. "I fucked up so bad." 

"You need to call Colby." Elton went into the kitchen and turned the sink on. "You should apologize." 

Sam nodded once and dug in his pockets to look for his phone. After a few minutes of digging, he huffed again and looked at Elton. "I lost my phone." 

"You lost -" Elton stopped himself and shook his head. "You know what, I believe that is the least of your problems. Any explanation as to why you got so wasted?"

"I just needed to forget what I was thinking about." Sam had needed to forget Colby. And it worked. 

"Ok, well don't drink to the point where you become an alcoholic." Elton held up a small pie and smiled. "Oh, and I baked by the way." 

Sam smiled softly. He loved pie and he needed food. 

From the other side of the room, Corey said, "I texted Colby that you were awake but couldn't find your phone. He's on his way back now."

Sam nodded once before getting some pie. 

It took Colby thirty minutes to get back to the hotel room. The minute he walked in, everything fell silent. Elton whispered something to Corey and they both rushed out of the room, leaving the two best friends alone. 

"Are you feeling better now?" Colby's face looked drained with worry. Sam felt his heart clench as he watched his best friend and secret crush. Even after he had acted like an asshole, Colby still was more focused on Sam's health.

Sam couldn't lie to Colby while watching his face contort with pure worry. "I'm not drunk anymore." 

It wasn't a yes and it wasn't a no. In truth, Sam felt like he'd never be ok with Colby around. It was so hard to love him from afar. Colby was perfect and Sam was forced to keep his awe at a friend level. He couldn't worship Colby the way a lover would worship him. 

"Sam, what happened?" 

I fell in love with you. It was what Sam wanted to scream. Instead he said, "I don't know." 

"I hate it when you lie to me." Colby sat next to his bestfriend and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. "Sam, what's wrong?" 

"I just.... I have a lot of emotions I need to work through right now, Colby. They are driving me insane, but I can't share them just now." Or ever. He couldn't share them ever. 

Colby nodded, still staring at Sam. "Ok. I understand."

And that was why Sam had fallen in love with Colby. The brunette boy always knew exactly what to say. Something wet rolled down Sam's face and he reached up to touch his cheek. He was crying. 

"Oh, Sammy." Colby hadn't used that pet name in so long. It made Sam's heart hurt even more and he broke into a small sob as Colby pulled him close and ran a hand through his blonde hair. 

The two best friends sat there for what seemed like hours as Colby let Sam cry into his shoulders. He continuously ran his hands through the blonde's hair and rubbed circles over his back. Sam wished it meant more than just a friend comforting another friend. He wished it had meant that Colby loved Sam the same way. 

After it was all done and Colby pulled away to stare his bestfriend in the eyes, he said, "Sam, I will always be there for you and when you're ready, you can tell me what it is that's bothering you." 

Sam nodded once, his eyes hurting from all the crying. After Colby got up to walk away, Sam let his words fall on deaf ears....

"I love you, Colby Brock."

....and there was no one there to hear.