Vulnera Sanentur

Eleven

Severus placed his hand on my arm, trying to get me to look at him. I shook my head softly, trying to hide the tears that stung my eyes. What had we just done?
*****
I walked the hallway towards the courtyard, my head down. I hadnt spoken to Draco in a week, not since the night he told me of my fathers wishes. I knew he couldnt help what he was ordered to do, but Dumbledore had been the closest thing to a father that I had.

As for Severus and I. I gave myself to him that night and since then, I havent looked him in the eye. I couldn't.  Especially after what happened afterwards.

I made my way through the courtyard, my eyes scanning as the students talked and joked around. The weather was nice today, most of the kids not bothering to wear their robes.

My eyes landed on Hagrids hut, a small smile came to my lips. I took a seat on the ground, my back against a large stone. I opened my book, continuing where I had left off.

****

"Tell me whats wrong, Rowan." His voice was trying to soothe me, but he was unsuccessful. I couldnt tell him that I felt guilt and pain. What we had done was meant to be a beautiful thing and I knew this, yet I couldnt see how thisnwas helping my father. I doubted his wishes now.

Severus had been gentle with me, his touch nothing but caring. I had enjoyed being that vulnerable with him, dont get me wrong, I had never been this scared of myself, of him, of my father.

***

"Miss Strange?"  Professor Mcgonagall asked as she walked by me. I looked up from my book. "You have class now, dont you?" She questioned. I checked my watch, seeing the time.

"Yes, Professor. I apologize." I said softly, getting up off the ground. She gave a motherly smile before she continued walking. My eues trained on the ground as I walked into my final period of the day, Potions.

I emtered as quietly as I could, taking the empty seat, as close to the back as possible. My presence did not go unnoticed.

Snapes eyes landed on me, hard as a rock. "Ah, Miss Strange, so lovely you could join us." I looked down as he made his way to me. 

****

I pulled my arm away as he touched me again. I was pulling my clothing on as fast as I could. I knew I looked a mess, but at this point, I could care less. Severus had gotten up and oulled on his pants, trying to follow me and stop me.

"Rowanna!" Hos voice boomed as soon as my hand touched the door. I paused for a moment. "Dont go," his voice was a whisper. "please."

My eyes looked up at him, letting him see the tear stains on my face.

*****

Potions class ended and I stood as soon as he dismissed us. "Miss Strange!" His voice boomed. "Sit. Down." He wasnt taking no for an answer. I moved against the crowd and placed myself in the deak I usually sat in.

As soon as the class was empty, he closed the door and locked it, moving over to stand in front of me. I kept my eyes down. Even when he took a seat on the chair beside me, I kept my eyes away from him.

I could feel the sharp pain in the back of my mind. I stood up, taking my wand in hand, and pointing at him with it.

"My father made sure I knew how to block that." I stated, my voice more confident than I was feeling. His eyes were calm as he looked to me.

"You think you want to read my mind? So you can find out why I am unable to speak to you, or listen to you?" I scoffed. "All you would see is the last two years of my life. The two years where my father has forced me to serve under him, beaten me, made me kill, and sold me off like cattle." His eyes flashed with sadness.

"Or how my innocence doesnt matter to him! My body was the last thing I had left. The last thing that hadnt been corrupted by my father." I shook my head, lowering my wand. Severus stood, moving towards me.

"Under different circumstances, that night would have been amazing,  Seveus. But I cant.." my voice trailed off.

Severus wrapped his arms around me, his hand rubbing my back.

"Its okay to feel this way." He whispered to me, his lips placing on my head. "Its okay to feel angry at him."

"Are you angry with him?"

"Of course I am."