Take Me Away || itadei

Chapter 13: Moths

Land of Moths (蛾の国 Ga no Kuni), Deidara now understands why the village is given such a name. He hovers over the village on his C-4 looking down at the villagers who are under the genjutsu casted by Itachi, he could see hundreds and thousands of small, tiny, white dots floating towards him contrasting with the fiery hell that he unleashed upon this land. He figures these are the moths that inhabit this village. White moths, nonetheless.

"They know." he mumbles.

He opens his hands, dispersing each of his miniature creations onto the village. 

Falling, falling, falling. 

Until they each hit the ground and triggers the explosions, each one setting off the next like dominoes until all that is left are debris, burning trees and destroyed gardens. The council too, burnt to the ground along with the house he and Itachi had been living in for the past week.

The heavy weight of guilt rising up his chest once again, sickening. He knows he isn't suppose to feel this way, not when he's done missions such as this before and this will definitely not be his last. So why is this village different? How is it different from the past? Does he know why? He knows why. The past genocides were villages with shinobi, those that can protect the civilians, old and young. However this village being located in a secluded area – defenceless – even he didn't know of this location, yet somehow Pain found it. He also knew of the scrolls the elders have hidden under the tatami mats in the tokonoma (alcove).

They were simply living their lives as harmless civilians, yet he cannot afford to fail his mission even after retrieving the scrolls in his hands. He cannot allow word to reach any other villages or shinobi that Akatsuki had left a group of people alive. That won't do anything but cause an uproar and surely Pain hates the idea of being looked down upon. Furthermore knowing that he showed mercy on these people when in the past he's never given a second thought before because as long as he is satisfied with his art and his audience he will do anything. 

He can't. He just can't. Even if he wishes he can leave Akatsuki and escape and return to live here permanently– escape with Itachi, he knows he will never be allowed to back out now. He is too far in and knows too many things. Seen too many to not be considered a threat. He knows if he leaves now Pain will send the others to hunt him like he and Sasori was sent to do with Orochimaru, hunt him down and kill him. 

Smoke rises over his head, swallowing him in one breath and he is surrounded by ash. The smell of rotting flesh strongly challenging his senses. He doesn't move, hasn't moved away lost in the sight before him of all things, living and non living, wither and fall under the explosions he hold. His eyes water and he, for the first time, allows it to fall, allows himself to take in the moment he is reminded that he lost his freedom.

He has already lost his freedom.

Itachi returns from the scene of destruction they had caused. After making sure there are no survivors he searches for Deidara, the scroll safely tucked in his coat. Walking on the rubble that managed to collapse far from the vicinity of the village he finds his companion seated under a lone tree, one that is safe from the wildfire. Though it is still standing unharmed there are clear outlines of a fire that managed to creep up the trunk, leaving fresh but permanent shadows for those who pass by to know exactly what had happened at this place. 

Itachi seats himself beside Deidara, not too close nor too far, just the right distance where they don't feel too uncomfortable in each other's presence. He has never been in such a situation where he feels he is out of words to say, his mind so empty that he doesn't know if at this time and moment he should say anything at all, because he was partnered with Kisame the man never seems to be in such distress after a mission. Should he say anything at all?

The sun has yet to rise. The early hours of a new day should be refreshing but Deidara feels otherwise. His insides feel contorted, his throat dry and painful to swallow and if anyone sees him they might think there is nothing wrong with him at all. But in actual reality there are many things wrong with him. So many faults and flaws and regrets that he just wants to disappear then and there. He desperately wants to scream out his frustrations, wants to tell those dead people that what he did was not on his own accord, that he was forced because if he never agree to do it someone else will. He wants to confide in someone or something, wants to speak his mind and not have to worry that the person he is talking to will betray him. He wants to do many things but he never came round to it. He might never get the chance to do the things he wishes to do again because now he doesn't know if him being here is the right path.

Itachi glances at the blond beside him, seeming lost in deep thought from the way his eyes look distance while he stares out in the horizon. Ashes, smoke and the smell of death apparent. He slightly scrunches his face, the closeness of it all makes him feel queasy that he has to cover his nose and mouth for a short while as he takes in a deep breath, gathering oxygen in his lungs. He lets out a sigh through his nose, the fire slowing down behind them. 

By the time morning approaches the fire will be out and death is all anyone will remember of this fallen land before them. Even those who does not know of the village's existence they will hear its name now that Akatsuki has graced it with their blessing. 

Before he can utter a word Deidara scoots over towards him, leaning on his shoulder with his eyes closed as though it is the most normal thing to do. Itachi stares on, perplexed with eyes widen in surprise. Deidara is leaning on him. Leaning on him. As much as the shared kiss from the day before is much more baffling than a simple act of being leaned on Itachi cannot help the spread of warmth in his chest when he spots a small smile making its way on the other's lip. He, too, returns a smile in his own way. Although what they did not too long ago is not something any sane person would feel pleased about Itachi feels a certain serenity wash over him, waiting and watching the sky lighten with a certain someone resting next to him. 

News spread like wildfire when a village holding a forbidden scroll was destroyed by hired shinobi reach the ears of the rogue shinobi at the Akatsuki basement. Pain more than delighted to hear such welcoming news. His long awaited time is finally here, and when his beloved little blond returns he would make sure to reward him, fittingly.