Papers for Roses

Chapter Forty Two

Chapter Forty Two

Megan

The pub was a hidden sanctuary for college students. It was one of those places that gave any passerby this impression that nothing's going on here, walk along.

Megan entered the salon and located a man named Joe. Every hidden location had a password. In this case, you had to know or come with someone who knew about the pub or you wouldn't get in. If you were a regular, they would let you in without them even sparing you a glance. It was one of the perks of dating Aaron. Having a boyfriend who hang out with the cool kids, you'd be surprised by the disturbing things you would overhear.

She spotted Joe at the far corner, sitting on a chair in front of a huge mirror. She mustered some fake enthusiasm and walked toward the small man. "Joe! Hello! Long time no see."

Joe stopped typing and raised his eyes for a second before going back to his phone. "Bryan's already inside," he said dismissively.

Megan laughed awkwardly. "Oh, thanks?" Rude asshole?

He grunted in response.

She sighed and walked to the curtained entryway. There were two frat boys guarding the door who nodded at her in greetings. Again, one of the perks of dating one. They have this sort of bro code stating that they shouldn't touch a girl a member had already dated. Obviously, it didn't apply to women they hooked up with.

Megan frowned, halting her moment of reminiscing. She wasn't here to reminisce. She was here to make peace with someone.

Feeling nostalgic worked, though. Her nerves were no longer trying to shrink under her skin, the headache her anxiety summoned was less intense.

There were a few people having an early lunch. The soft noise of their quiet chatter blended along with the clanking of bottles and kitchen noises at the counter. She found Bryan's blond head at the leather couch on the fireplace. Her feet started to move before she could gather her wits.

As if Bryan sensed her coming, his head turned, his dark eyes surprisingly stayed locked on her face. He didn't stand up or say anything as he watched her come toward him.

The sight of his bulky figure casually waiting for her made her stomach plummeted. She wasn't far from the door. She could turn around and forget all of this happened. Then she'd resume hating the guy forever.

She mentally shook her head. No. This has to be done.

"Bryan." It was difficult saying his name again for the first time in months.

He smiled and gestured for her to take a seat. She decided to sit on the opposite end. It was obvious he noticed but thankfully, he didn't comment. "Thank you for meeting me. You don't know how much I appreciate this." When she didn't respond, Bryan waved his hand on the table, while his other hand held a glass. "Ordered some wine. Hope you're not picky."

"Thanks."

God, it was awkward. She drank the wine he offered in one gulp. Her stomach settled a little but her heart wouldn't slow down from pumping more blood than she would ever need in this situation.

"I'm surprised your husband allowed you to come." His eyebrow rose knowingly.

She shook her head. "He didn't know I was here, nor did he know about this place." She locked her eyes with his. "Why did you want to meet me? Why do you keep messaging me?"

They had a long history but the strangest thing was, they were never once friends. To keep contacting her when she showed him enough hostility that could deter any other person was beyond her.

"Smart move." He smiled again. "I wanted to say congratulations. I can see that he made you happier based on the glowing look on your face."

Her hand flew to her cheek, suddenly self-conscious. "Thank you."

He offered a toast, which she didn't decline. They remained silent as the chatters surrounding them continued. They quietly sipped on their wine, Megan was growing restless by the second. Something unpleasant and hot brewed at the pit of her stomach, as her throat swallowed convulsively. Was it disgust? Disappointment? ... Guilt?

She grew more uncomfortable in her own skin as Bryan, the man she hated for years sat and waited. It was clear he didn't know what to say anymore. What could he say, though? Flirting was off the table as she was already married. Catching up was, too, because what was there to catch up for?

Her lips quivered as her anxiety intensified. Autumn and Isabella's words rang in her ears as the silence weighed heavily between them.

The air suddenly felt stiff as the words turned to bad images—of her... and Bryan's skinny, stuttering self. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed out.

Inhale.
Exhale.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.

Megan turned to Bryan before she could stop herself, her fingers gripping the neck of the wine glass a little too tightly. "Listen, Bryan." Her tone was urgent, surprising them both. Bryan waited patiently as tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry—"

Her voice cracked in a sob. "I'm so sorry for everything." She sniffed. Big fat tears cascaded down her cheeks. Bryan didn't move, but his face loosened as a small smile reached his eyes. He was relieved and it made her cry harder. "I know I was such an ass for treating you like I did. You were just trying to be my friend all these years and I deliberately fucked all your efforts up because..." She trailed off. "I have issues and it's not your fault, Bryan. I want you to know that."

"It's okay." He chuckled. "I know you didn't like me. I'm not dumb, Megan."

She blinked, her lashes damp with tears. "W-Why...W-what? Sorry?"

He reached for her hand. Megan instinctively flinched. Bryan, again, didn't comment. The unwelcomed touch provided her comfort, but it wasn't enough to reduce the blow of the guilt as he said his next words. "I like you. A lot. I wasn't lying when I told you that. And I wouldn't wish to go back in time and tried harder to annoy you. Your silence allowed me to say anything I wanted without the fear of being rejected." He let go of her hand and grinned. "Although, you did reject me in some other way. But you know what I'm saying." She nodded. "Weird, I know. But I'm aware from the start that I stood no chance."

Her shoulders relaxed but her eyes dropped. This was the Bryan everyone knew. Understanding. Easy to talk to. "I don't know what else to say." Sorry for using you to feel good about myself. "You deserve so much more." I just want to feel more in control of my life.

Bryan regarded her with an intuitive look. "It was partly my fault. I couldn't take no for an answer. My mind was fixed on the fact that you never straight-up called me out for it, which I realized recently that it was because you weren't comfortable to hurt me." Sigh. "I guess this talk was long overdue that it felt like there was no barrier at all to stop me from crowding you. You were right to hate me."

Megan licked her lips. "It seemed so petty now. This game of ours. I should've acted like an adult instead of avoiding you like the plague."

"And I should've stopped when I saw the signs. I didn't. Even go as far as inviting a prostitute to Aaron's party to confirm my suspicions about him."

A shake of her head. A heavy sigh escaping her with the mention of the incident. "You saved me from a difficult time down the road. You gave him a gun, but he was the one who pulled the trigger." She shrugged. "It was toxic even before then. I guess I only stayed because it was convenient."

She didn't know why she was telling him this. But the built-up tension between them had dissipated into a faint smoke.

Bryan nodded in understanding, but thankfully didn't say anything about it. "Thank you again for meeting with me, Megan. You're an amazing person. I hope Wade is really the one for you."

She smiled. "He is."