Papers for Roses

Epilogue

yes this is in first person

Epilogue

Megan

I didn't recognize I had abandonment issues until people started to turn their backs on me.

Funny? Yes.
Stupid? Damn true.
Surprised? Nope. Not even a little bit.

I wasn't aware it was something to fix. I laughed when my husband suggested that I should see someone who I was working so hard to be—a psychologist. Still, after laughing so hard I'd gathered tears in my eyes and him with a face so red he resembled a tomato, I agreed.

We began to go together a little over a year ago. Mainly for the reason that we needed someone to listen and to make sure that we were heading toward the right path—the real married life.

Weeks after our first meeting, Wade and I burned all the contracts we signed. And since the contract that stated that our marriage would expire after a year was nothing but ashes... well, that left our marriage with no expired date. Shrugged. Don't ask me, I'm into human behavior, not legal shits.

After another few weeks, Ben passed away with a smile on his face. His death was another reminder that we needed to move forward because life wasn't stopping for you. At the time, we never missed any meetings and we were more open with our feelings. That was why it didn't turn out difficult to forgive Ben and to allow him to rest in peace.

If you were still wondering what Wade's answer to his question... it's a yes. So win-win. He started managing Simon Inc. too. And he loved me.

What else...

Oh, yup.

Wade wasn't as clinical like I first met him.

I decorated his penthouse a little more often and changed his screensaver with a picture of us. His curtains were less boring and had cute intricate patterns in it. I also convinced him to repaint our home with my favorite colors. Because his only favorite colors were gray, black and white. How dramatic.

In short, his life was at its most colorful.

Clung. Clung. Clung.

I jerked as my alarm goes off. I pushed off from my position on the wall and walked to the blue sink. My hands were clammy and my stomach was doing somersaults. The thunderous thudding of my heart echoed under my skin.

I was so busy these past few days that I didn't notice that I had missed my period. Wade hired an assistant for me to make managing my project easier so that I could go back to YPCA. It was a relief that Dr. Lionheart welcomed me with open arms and didn't look for my replacement while I was gone. I was in my third and last year in my Master's and I was still not sure if I was qualified for PhD programs, but I like to think I was.

Thinking of PhD made me more anxious to look down.

Jesus. It wasn't like we hadn't talked about it.
We talked about it a lot.
Wade even more so.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Alright, let's do this.

I looked down. My eyes widen. A sudden rush of excitement coursed through my veins as two red lines appeared in my line of vision. Oh my god... Oh my freaking god...

I couldn't help myself. I squealed so loud I'm sure my neighbors were going to call the police any moment now.

I coughed.

Oh, right. We lived fifty-feet off the ground and owned the entire floor. The birds were going to freak!

Footsteps echoed against the marble floor and the marvelous man that was my husband stood in the doorway. "Jesus woman, where's the fire?"

I raised the pregnancy test. "Here's the fire!"

Wade frowned, no doubt thinking it was an ordinary white rectangular object. I tossed it at him.

It hit his head before it landed in his palms. His head tilted and my nerves turned into a frenzy as I waited for his reaction. He didn't make me wait long. He laughed, a full-belly laugh that had his eyes twinkling and his hands clutching his stomach. "Fuck, I'm going to be a father," he said, shaking his head, a delighted grin on his face.

It was so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes.

He looked at me with a patient smile on his face. "Oh babe, come here." He gathered my small body into his arms and swayed us from side to side. Still chuckling, he kissed my forehead. "I can't wait."

I swallowed through the gathering lump in my throat. "Me, too."

Raising another human being scared and excited me at the same time. But Wade was by my side. Sure, he was grumpy, dominant, moody and just being plain shit. But he was also attentive, caring, loving and listens. Truly listens. I had no doubt that he was going to be a wonderful father to our child because he'd been wonderful to me.

Did I mention that this man helped me find myself? I always thought that was dramatic, but yes, he did. I was no longer thinking that someone borrowed this body to be subjected to such emotional abandonment. With him, I became more aware of myself and what I was capable of. Most of all, I finally recognized my worth. I finally recognized that I was just with the wrong people.

It started with me being his property, but sometime in the midst of all the madness, Mr. Simon helped me to see that I own me.

Sigh. I guess the papers he served me were roses after all.

thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me.
i hope you enjoyed this book as much as i enjoyed writing it!
all the love and kisses from this asian college girl :*

who wants a bonus chapter?