The Mermaid That's Sweetest

2] A Strange Reality

2] A Strange Reality

When night approaches and the girls all go out, I remain as I planned to. One of the reasons was the Change. It was hard to catch, but if you could spot the moments the sea changes from Calm to Rough – it was spectacular. The water started to change direction, it reversed.

It was probably one of the most powerful things I had ever seen. I had witnessed it the same year the tragedy that came into my life, changed my life. It was also the same moment, I started to have that dream.

I knew the seas were expected to turn Rough at the end of the week, but I had a sensation in my entire spine telling me otherwise. It would happen sooner.

So, I do something probably entirely stupid; I change my plans to simply sight see the ocean.

And I'm happy no one is around. I wanted to be brave enough to go back into the water.

I wanted to recreate my dream and imagine some unknown male entity was helping give me courage. As Halina had said, the seas would soon be Rough.

It was best to try and swim while they were Calm, it was less daunting.

I leave the hut and look back at the fading lanterns – nearly all were out.

Everyone else was back at the village if they weren't in the Clan castles by the sea.

I didn't know what to wear, because I didn't ever see what I was wearing in my dream.

So, I just wear something I can't feel. A flimsy see through shift, oversized and comfortable. I let my darkest green hair out, so it stays in a mess over my shoulders.

I walk along the tree line, my feet in the dirt, avoiding the sand.

I don't venture too far from the orphanage, I wasn't that stupid.

When I find my favourite part of the beach, the part that seemed to feature in my dreams... I dip one toe into the soft sand and I pause.

I look left and right.

Nobody.

No chill up my spine.

Not yet.

I take another step so both my feet hit the sand and my heart starts to thump faster as I panic.

I jump back to the soil and grab a tree branch, tears springing to my eyes in embarrassment. I was still as utterly terrified of the ocean as I had been every single moment for the past ten years.

I try to imagine what my invisible saviour would say, even though he never says anything in the dream.

Why are you scared – no, that wasn't helpful. Just pretend you're walking on the shore line – no. What about... touch the water once and then back off. Um, better?

I stand there for a good ten minutes in the soil, trying to calm my heart beat.

Confused about what I'm even focusing on, I think about running towards the ocean.

That should help, right?

"It's just the sea," I whisper it out loud and I scare myself.

No.

I couldn't do it.

Yes. Yes, I could do it!

No.

Yes.

I leap out of the tree line and land in an awkward squat, my fingers curling in the sand, same as my toes.

I crawl forward, forcing myself to make it half way to the shoreline.