Ma'am I'm gonna need you to stay back, there's not enough space for you and your kids to ride with us."
"I'm his WIFE, and these are his CHILDREN! He needs us by his side...what if...what if this is the last time I'll see him?"
With a much gentler tone and softer facial expression, the paramedic motions for me to get into the vehicle.
The 15 minute ambulance ride to the hospital was excruciating. Within that relatively short time span, Toni went into sudden cardiac arrest twice. Both times caused me to clutch my heart and cry out in agony. This reaction had nothing to do with me watching the man I've come to love die in front of me. It was undeniably, caused by real pain. It felt as though someone had reached into my chest and began to squeeze my heart until I could no longer breathe. At first, the medic thought I was having a minor panic attack, but as my symptoms continued to worsen and look more and more like a heart attack, he immediately called for assistance. My discomfort finally ceased once he was stabilized. After receiving "treatment" for an aliment that wasn't there, the only thing I could do was sit back and "enjoy" the rest of the ride.
When we got out of the ambulance a wave of new emotions began to hit me all at once. It was almost as if breathing air outside of the small radius I was allowed in for such a long time, had shaken me out of my Stockholm syndrome. Within a matter of seconds I could take my kids and leave for a better life without their destructive father. Everything inside of me was screaming take his sudden vulnerability/ weakness and leave, but my legs betrayed my heart, and continued their path into the hospital. The
psychological alliance between my captor and I was so strong that at that very time and moment, I was willing to sacrifice my only chance of true peace and happiness for a piece of shit that I've stupidly come to love, more than I love myself.
I'd be lying if I said that killing him in such an unguarded state never crossed my mind. There hadn't been any nurses in his room since they began to run tests to see what's wrong with him, the nanny came to take the children to a nearby hotel because it was going to be a long couple of days/ nights, and all of his henchmen were sent to patrol the outskirts of the hospital at my request. There were a million things I could've done to him while he was hooked up to a bunch of tubes and wires. So many malicious thoughts ran through my mind, but the ones that involved asphyxiation seemed to be the most pleasing to me. I could either A...smother him with a pillow, or B...unplug his oxygen/heart monitors. I decided to settle on the latter and quite literally, pull the plug.
Doing this doesn't mean that I don't love him. There have been so many times where he's mentally and physically abused me, all while claiming the love he has for me is unconditional. At this very moment, something sinister has taken over my body, and all I can think about is revenge. This is a necessity, not a want. I have to do this. If I don't, I'll regret not taking this opportunity to inflict mass amounts of pain. I've never stopped breathing before, but I imagine the pain is immense. I just wish his eyes were open so he could watch me while I take his life away for a matter of seconds.
Walking over to him, I proceed to unplug any and everything I could find. Listening to his heart fail was like music to my ears. Being with him all of this time had undoubtedly turned me into a coldhearted person. My naive youth had been snatched from me by a devilishly handsome psychopath who, unquestionably had the best dick I'd ever had. Unknowingly, he had created a monster that soon would rival his own inner demons. I mean...It's impossible to stand so close to the devil, without being affected. Having so much control over him in such a feeble state brought me immense joy. In this very moment, I was the grim reaper and it was time for him to reap what he sowed.
Somewhere between me pulling out his plugs and being lost in my thoughts, my heart stopped beating. Just as the nurses were rushing into the room to stabilize him, I collapsed to the ground.
The rays of sunshine were beaming through the blinds as I awoke in an unfamiliar place. Looking around the room I noticed that I was still in the hospital, but instead of being a visitor, I was a patient with my own guests. Focusing my eyes on the two men in front of me, I quickly became aware that they were cops, and that they're probably here to question me about yesterday's incident. Rolling my eyes, I mentally prepare myself for their unrelenting questions.
(Long time no see! We missed you guys so much and we're sooo sorry for taking so long to update😐! Hopefully the next chapter will be longer, won't take months to write, and NOT end with a cliffhanger 😬. Anyways, what do you think is going on with Tyra??) I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and please show some love by voting/commenting! Have a wonderful dayyyy
-Kayla
