Panic Attacks

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A/N::

WARNING:: This chapter deals with [Tony's] PTSD and contains strong language

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'You're a worthless-minded bitch!' Howard Stark snapped. He threw an empty beer bottle at his 13-year-old son who had managed to duck out of the way. Tony watched it shatter into a thousand pieces and ducked again as his father whipped another one at him. 'Dad, I-' 

'No! Just- just stop talking! You're a huge disappointment to me and Stark Industries. When I was your age, I fucking respected my life. Unlike you, you lousy piece of shit." Tony lay down in a fetal position while his dad came over and kicked him. 

"Tony? Tones?" Steve was shaking his husband awake. Tony woke up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding against his ribs. His palms were sweaty and he had been clenching the blanket in his fists. 

"Hey, are-are you okay?" Steve asked, rubbing circles on Tony's arm. "You were shaking the whole bed" Tony sighed a loud, slow sigh. "I dreamt about Howard," he said. It hurt Steve so much that his husband hadn't had a good relationship with his dad. He felt his heart sink. Tony sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed so he was sitting up. "Steve, it felt so real," he said, referring to his dream. "I know, baby, I know" Steve sighed into Tony's shoulder.

[+++]

[PETER'S POV]

I sighed and chewed on the end of my pencil. I couldn't focus on my work. It's not like I had much work to do, just read three chapters and write about what I read about. Easy enough but I couldn't focus. As far as I know, I didn't have ADHD but I wasn't sure. I stood up and walked out of my room to see Pops walk out of his room too. I watched as he shut the door behind him.

"Hey, Mom," I said. "I think my powers are glitching or something. Like, I can't focus on my work or anything at all for that matter" He cocked his head at me and raised an eyebrow. "You should go talk to Dad or Bruce about it," he said. "I'm not good in power glitches. I think Dad and/ or Bruce are in the lab" he added.

I sighed and followed him down the stairs, going into the basement. I saw both Dad and Bruce bent over, working on my web shooters. "Shit," I heard Dad mutter, as webbing flew everywhere, striking an Iron Man suit. "Tony, we need a break, you need a break," Bruce said. Tony threw down the screwdriver he was holding and put his hand up to his face. I heard it hit the table and then the floor where it rolled under one of the many workbenches in the lab. 

Dad started breathing heavily and his legs gave out, making him spill over his work, his hand hitting my web shooters, sending webbing flying everywhere, including my hoodie. Bruce tried to help dad to his feet but his knees wouldn't lock so he kept spilling over his table, sending parts and pieces flying off the table. "Peter, go get your father," Bruce anxiously said.

I sprinted up the stairs, two at a time until I reached the ground floor. Pops was sitting on the couch reading a book. I ran over to him, "Dad needs you. Like, now," I said. We both ran down the stairs as fast as we could, Pops obviously beating me. I watched Dad collapse into Mom's arms, mom looked like he was on the verge of tears. "It's okay, baby. Tones, you're okay," Mom cooed into Dad's ear. I looked at the two of them and Pops looked back at me. "He's fine, he's just having a panic attack."

I knew Dad wasn't fine but I let it go and headed upstairs to try and relax.

{+++}

[STEVE'S POV]

I hated seeing Tony like this. For the 13 years, we've been together, he has always had at least one panic attack a week. I felt sorry for him and Peter. I knew that if Peter knew Howard than that would make Peter spiral. He was a good kid but he always beat himself up if something went wrong.

I held Tony in my arms for a long time. I felt his heart rate and his breathing slow down and I held him out so I could look at his face. His face was shiny from tears and sweat. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want you or Peter to see me like this" 

"Hey," I said sternly, looking at him directly in the eyes. I cupped his cheeks in my hands. "This-this is not your fault. This is something that you do not have any control over. I don't want to see you like this and I know, I know, that our son, our beautiful, amazing, brilliant, handsome, adoring son doesn't want to see you like this either. You are one of the most brilliant people I know." 

I don't know for how long it was, but for a long time, we stood there in silence, him just crying into me and I just standing there feeling so sad.

WORD COUNT: 888 (wow)


A/N::

Okay, so this is actually a decent chapter (IMO [I don't want to sound cocky])

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Peace out my guys,

-J

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