✔️ BAD NEIGHBORHOOD | hyunbinlix

XXV

this body...

whose is it?

it's not mine.

i don't know what "mine" is.

who am i?

the face i see in the mirror looks strange. messy, red-dyed hair, tan skin. there are bags under my eyes; flowers in my hair. if i move closer, i can see freckles.

i don't know why i'm surprised when i feel my hand touch my skin. i moved it there. decided to touch the freckles on my face.

who am i?

where am i?

i know i'm in korea, but this body doesn't look like it's from here. the freckles from years of sunburn and tan lines suggest sun (and lots of it). and those flowers aren't korean, either.

and who were the people i was sleeping in the bed with?

there were two. a boy with wings and horns, and a boy without.

i don't know them.

maybe i did once, but not anymore. they're both attractive - they look like they fit beauty standards, they have nice eyes and a nice face shape. but they're just like me.

two eyes.

a head.

bones that don't crack or move in directions they're not supposed to.

'who are you?'

this body's voice is deep. that language isn't korean, and the accent isn't either - so that's where that tan is from. australia.

the flowers in my hair are strange, too. why are they there? they grow from my scalp, intertwining themselves with my hair. 

i must not be human.

'who are you?'

some part of me expects an answer.

from inside me.

from the sleeping boys (one is snoring).

from the reflection in front of me.

'who are you?'

i look closer. there are scars on me. bruises. did somebody do this to me, or did i do it to myself?

i have questions; all are unanswered.

'felix?' a voice groaned. 'why are you up? come back, we're lonely.'

felix.

that must be my name.

doesn't ring a bell.

the voice belongs to one of the boys. it's the one with wings and horns. i don't think he's human. he's tall, taller than me. 

i like his lips. 

maybe i'm gay. 

maybe that's another piece of the puzzle.

'lixie, are you okay? your nose is bleeding.'

he steps closer to me.

no.

wrong.

who am i? i don't know.

this is not okay.

'who am i ?'

panic.

'who are you?'

the other boy, the one who was snoring, is awake.

he looks worried too.

'don't touch me.'

'who am i?'