✔️ BAD NEIGHBORHOOD | hyunbinlix

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YANG JEONGIN

[ ➳ ]

YANG JEONGIN ── CHOSEN

i'm lying on KIM SEUNGMIN's bed in my penguin pajamas. usually i would be embarrassed, but with seungmin i can't bring myself to care. even though we've only know each other for a couple of months, we're closer than most of my other friends and i are. i'm extremely thankful; now i have someone to turn to when things are crappy like they are now. and someone to paint my toenails.

there's no specific reason for it, but seungmin was itching to do something with his hands, and i'm happy to be a canvas. it's only when all my toes have coral pink nail polish skillfully applied and seungmin's elegant fingertips are messily coloured in a shimmering black (done terribly by yours truly) that i have to think about my problems again. i don't have a distraction now, and i can tell seungmin is waiting for me to start talking. 'i don't want to be a burden.'

he shakes his head, letting a chunk of hair fall into his eyes. 'you're not.'

'okay, well... i don't know. it's really not that bad. i don't even know if i'm whining about nothing or not.'

'that bruise doesn't look like nothing,' he emphasizes with a pointed look.

i roll my eyes. 'must you always be so dramatically poetic? you sound just like minho- but don't tell him i said that.'

'quit stalling, punk.' he reaches out to ruffle my hair and i bat his hands away.

'you got your report card, like, yesterday-ish, right?'

he nods, making a face. 'straight "B"s.'

'that's still a good grade!' he scoffs in response, but i'm being sincere; it really is a good grade. i'm happy for him, and it's sad that he feels like that's not good enough. look at me, being a preacher; maybe i should take some of my own advice. 'i got mine, too. got good scores in everything except, uh, maths.'

'what? but you're usually so good at that!' i cringe, and he immediately apologizes. 'shit, i mean- of course, you don't have to be perfect at everything all the time. i'm sure not.'

'yeah. i got a B-'

seungmin buts in, 'you hypocrite! that's a great mark.'

'i know, i know,' i wave him away. 'but not good enough. my parents- they got really mad. my mum, like exploded. started screaming about how i'd never get a good job if i didn't get the grades, you know. she kinda stood- stood up, and she's sort of the same height as me but a bit taller so she backed me into a corner, and she was still yelling but she was acting like she was going to hit me or something. and then I panicked and tripped and hit my face on the corner of the coffee table.'

he sucks in a breath. 'ow.'

'yeah. i mean, they were both, like, sorry, and they apologized for getting mad, but...'

'no, they shouldn't get that mad at you for getting a bad- it wasn't even bad, a B is better than average- mark.'

'mhm,' i hum glumly. 'i'm just sort of depressed. i disappointed them. i'm a disappointment.'

'no, you're not.' he almost sounds exasperated. 'do they know?'

'know what?'

'do they know how much they're affecting you? i know your parents, and they're not, like, messed in the head like felix's were or anything. they're trying to make sure you succeed in life, but they're just going about it in a too-strict way. maybe they don't, like, know how much they're messing you up-'

i slap him on the arm, chuckling. 'hey! i'm not messed up.'

'says the child perfectionist with possible anxiety issues-'

'shut up, you dickhead!'

he laughs, but before long the sound peters out into nothing. 'for real, though,' he says, a little quieter. 'i think you should speak to someone about this. y'know, "tell a trusted adult".' i raise an eyebrow, and he elaborates. 'my parents. school counselor. hyunjin's mum. they could help you talk to your parents.'

'yeah, maybe... i just don't want to be a nuisance? what if they say i'm making a fuss about nothing?'

'what's the worst-case scenario?'

'uh... they'll say i'm stupid and childish, and they'll dismiss me.'

'and then?'

'then they'll... i'll feel bad.'

'and?'

'fine. you got me! i'll tell someone.'

'you won't regret it.'