Knight

43

TRIGGER WARNING: use of homophobic slur

Mason Maloney

My pillow was still damp from my tears when I woke up the next morning. I was facedown, having trouble breathing, but I had a feeling even if I sat up, I wouldn't be able to breathe any better than I was.

I sat up with a cough, trying to clear my throat from the liquid that had lodged itself back there after I fell asleep during my sobs.

I couldn't face everyone today. There was no doubt that I would be the biggest topic of conversation at school. Maybe if I just stayed in bed, Nathan would leave without me. I was sure he wouldn't want to see me today after our fight. I could stay in my room so my parents wouldn't see me and Nathan would go to school and then I could have the whole house to myself.

It seemed like the perfect plan until a loud pounding sounded on my door. I groaned, pulling my pillow over my head to try and drown out the noise. Suddenly, the pounding stopped and my door was swung open so harshly that it hit the wall with a thud. I still kept my head down, knowing it was Nathan who had barged in my room.

"Get up," my brother demanded, pulling the covers off of me.

I didn't acknowledge him. Instead, I ignored him in hopes that he would give up and leave me alone. Though, I knew I didn't have such luck. If Nathan was determined to get me out of bed, he would.

"Mason," Nathan growled, shoving me hard to turn me over. "You're going to school."

I moved the pillow away from my face and stared at him through my stinging eyes. He looked as angry as he did the night before, his vein popping out prominently on his neck. Nathan stood with his hands on his hips, fully dressed for school as he stood over me impatiently.

"Don't be a coward," he said in a condescending tone. "Get up and get ready, now."

I hesitantly stood up from my bed as Nathan watched my every move. I threw open my drawers and pulled out the first outfit I could find, loose fitting jeans and sweatshirt. Nathan's eyes burned my skin, causing me to leave the room to go to the bathroom to get dressed.

The first time I looked at myself in the mirror since yesterday caused me to see an alarming sight. My eyes were red and swollen while the skin on my face looked irritated from the amount of times I dragged my hands across it to wipe my tears. My hair was a mess and my expression was blank. I didn't look right, and definitely didn't look like myself.

I got dressed anyway, knowing Nathan would break the door down if I didn't. After doing my business, brushing my teeth, and putting some water through my hair and on my face, I made my way back to my room to put my dirty clothes in my hamper. Nathan sat on my bed, looking angrily down at his phone. When he saw that I was ready, he stood up and made his way to my bedroom door.

"Let's go," he grumbled, bumping his shoulder against mine harshly. My own brother was being cold to me over this, I couldn't imagine how the rest of the school was going to react to it.

Part of me wanted to push Nathan out of my room and lock the door, but I knew it would be no use. He would call my parents and figure out some way to get me out of my room and to school. I wondered if he was so adamant about me going to school because he didn't want me to sit around being sad all day, or, if he wanted to punish me for what I had done by making me endure the wrath of our entire student body. Maybe it was a little bit of both.