adebimpe the facebook girl

Episode 03

ME: ogbeni how far?

SEGE: oko bimpe, I dey oooooo.

ME: you know well, who be oko bimpe?

SEGE: eeeh, sorry, Mr maga I mean jaree

ME: you no well ni

SEGE: loooool 

ME: errrhhhm, you still remember this girl,
kemi?

SEGE: who is kemi?

ME: that my babe wey I tell you say she dey
stay for lag na.

SEGE: I no remember ooo. 

ME: the one I met before bimpe na.

SEGE: oooooooooooooh, that your recharge
card babe abi?.

ME: yeah

SEGE: wetin do her?

ME: she just called me say she dey come akure next weekend

SEGE: that one nice na. Na kitten weekend be
that for you na.

ME: you no well

SEGE: are you guys still dating?

ME: we never broke up before, we only stopped communicating
with each other

SeGE: and wetin be that one?, no be break-up
be that.

ME: that one aside jaree. She said I should send
her airtime. 

SEGE: hmmmmm. I trust you say you don send
am already.

ME: no oooo, I am contemplating on whether
to send or not.

SEGE: that babe na cheap airtime scammer.
But since she talk say she dey come akure, risk this last one and
send like 200mtn
sha. Atleast to pour water on ground and then
walk on wet
ground.

ME: thanks jaree my guy. 

SEGE: I hear. But don’t send another airtime
again until you set
your eyes on her oooooo.

ME: I hear.
The following morning on my way to work, I
stopped at a vendor and got a N200 airtime for kemi. As usual, she
only called to
thank me in 12 seconds and later hanged up. 

3days gone and I
didn’t hear from kemi again until the 4th night
which was thursday night when she called me again.

ME: hello dear, how are you?

KEMI: I’m fine dear, thanks for the other day

ME: you are welcome dear

KEMI: I also want to remind you that I would
be around next weekend oooo. And you will talk me out and
buy gifts for me
ooo.

ME: no problem dear.

KEMI: thanks love. I’m missing you seriously

ME: same here 

KEMI: that’s my baby. Errrrrrhmm honey, can
you please help me
with a little airtime please?, even if it is just
N200 please. 

Recharge card again?, what do I do this time?,
segun must not
hear this, and I don’t want her to change her
mind about coming
over to see me, but seriously, I was tired of
this airtime demands of a thing but at the same time, I wanted to
fu-Ck kemi.
I decided to risk it again and transfer N100
airtime to her from
my phone. 

One thing about kemi was that,
whenever she gets an airtime below what she requested for, she
would never call back
to appreciate but if she gets the exact amount
she requested for,
she would call back and spend maximum of
30seconds on a call.