southside trash [shameless]

• Chapter 6 • Stitches •

I slowly open my eyes, squinting to try and stop them stinging so much from the seemingly bright light above me.  Everything hurts, everything aches.

I eventually gain the strength and consciousness to slowly sit up, I look down at my legs to see my jeans and underwear pulled down to my ankles.  It doesn't take a genius to know that he went through with it, especially with the throbbing pain emitting from my area.

I quickly scramble to pull them up, despite the thumping feeling in my head, covering my bare lower half. I feel so violated and disgusted but most of all; weak.

"Oh, you're awake," I hear that familiar sinister voice and freeze, "be here tomorrow, eleven, I've got men out dealing today already. Go." He orders.

I quickly stand up and nod to him, not making eye contact, and move towards the door as fast as I can without pissing him off.

Once I'm outside, I stumble quickly down the road and around the corner. Now out of view of the house, I empty the contents of my stomach by the side of the road, gagging for a good while after as well. When I finally calm down, I finally take a moment to check on the wound the gun left which is causing me immense pain. I gently press my finger to where I can feel the gash, when I pull my hand away from it I inspect the blood covering my fingers. Shit, how am I meant to explain this?

I start briskly walking home, trying to ignore the piercing pain emitting from my crotch and stomach.  I knew Raoul was bad news but never did I think he was capable of... of that.  I can't believe I let him do that to me.  I'm still in shock, I'm not sure how I should react to this.  It's not like there's a textbook guide for rape.  Rape.  I've just been raped.  Fuck.  I'm not even sure if it's better or worse that I was unconscious.

How am I meant to face my family? Should I tell them? God no, I couldn't.  That's not the Gallagher way.  Grin and bear it.  I can't let them see it too.  I'm not weak like this, I'm a Gallagher.

Having been consumed by my thoughts, I only realise that I'm home as I walk up the steps.  Except I'm not at home, I'm at the Milkovich household of all places.

Having nothing to lose I lift a hand to knock on the door of my old best friends house.  No, we didn't have some life changing argument that ruined our friendship, he just ditched school the whole time and we're both busy breaking the law.  We just didn't get to see each other as often as we did before; we drifted.

I hear the thud of footsteps coming towards the door and it is pulled open revealing Terry, who's eyebrows furrow at the sight of me.

"Mickey!" He yells, "that whore of your's is here." He then turns to me and simply states that; "it's been a while since I've seen you hanging around here."  He walks away from the door leaving me standing there, jaw dropped at what he called me.

"What the fuck are you on about?" I hear Mick's voice call out in frustration before he appears, eyes finally falling on me, "Em?"

I look at him and suddenly feel a rush of emotion.  I try to stop myself but I can't.  I break down into tears right there on his doorstep.