southside trash [shameless]

• Chapter 8 • Trash •

Raoul's face hovers down my my neck, breathing heavily as he rocks back and forth quickly, his lips brushing past my neck as he moves, making my skin crawl. I'm frozen still unable to move and unable to stop him and his painful thrusting into me.  My body is completely limp and lifeless.

He suddenly starts groaning louder and louder.  I want to be sick. I feel so trapped and scared.  Everything seems to blur and it's never seeming to end.

I jolt up in bed, screaming.  I curl into a ball and start rocking back and forth, drenched in sweat, tears falling from my eyes at a constant rate.

"Em?" I hear Ian's worried voice. "Emma, are you okay?"

"Hey, sweetheart what's wrong?" Lip says, placing an arm on my shoulder.  I scramble away from his touch.  The word sending me spiralling back to memories of yesterday.

I hear Ian quietly tell Carl to go get Fiona.

"Emma, what's wrong?" Ian speaks up again, voice cracking.  He slowly approaches me and sits down beside me, cautiously wrapping an arm around me loosely, due to me still rocking back and forth.

I don't reply to him, I can't.  I feel like I can't even open my mouth, I can't breath. My eyes are squinted closed in fear.

"Emma," Fiona's voice fills the room, "what happened?"

"She woke up screaming," Lip tells her, "she's just freaking out, I tried to touch her arm and she got even more scared."

"Breathe Em," Ian says comfortingly into my ear, "just in and out, come on. It's alright I'm here.  Follow my breathing." He begins to loudly breath in and out for me to follow but it only reminds me of Raoul in my nightmare even more.

I shuffle away from Ian and I can almost feel his heart break, but my mind is too full to take notice to it.

Fiona comes over to me, and takes my hands in each of hers, "Emma, you're okay." She tells me like it's a fact.

I nod desperately trying to calm down my breathing.  Suddenly I feel two small arms wrap around my waist and small voice speaks up, "it's okay Emma, I have nightmares too sometimes, it's okay." Carl says quietly into my ear.

It's almost as if Carl's voice pulls me back down to Earth.  Within a minute of him holding me close my breathing has slowed to a near normal rate, and I wrap my arms around him slowly, sighing in relief.  I open my eyes and look to my family all looking at me in shock, worry and fear.

Debbie is clutching on to Lip's arm and hiding slightly behind him, covering her face with his side. Lip mouth is slightly parted open, eyes wide. Ian is clutching Fiona's hand like a little kid, with a single tear resting on his cheek, and Fiona looks like she's about to burst into tears, her free hand, covering her mouth in shock.

I tighten my arms around Carl before letting go of him, "thank you," I whisper. I look back to my family and gulp, "I'm sorry."

Ian is the first to run towards me, "don't be sorry, are you okay? What happened?" He attacks me with concerned questions and he wraps his arms around me tightly.