Many girls would probably be angry, fumed, screamed and any verbs that could ever describe the feeling of anger pagnakita nila yung taong bigla na lang nang iwan sa kanila without any explanation after ilang years or kaya buwan.
But for me, ni isang katiting na dapat din magalit ako sa kanya ay wala akong naramdaman towards him. I didn't felt any hatred like I've said. Wala talaga. Except for hurt. A little hurt. Naalala ko lang kasi yung pagwala niya na parang bula and how I seek for explanations but got none.
"Bro, mauna na kayo, susunod lang ako sa inyo." Joshua told his friends while his eyes remained at me. Surprisingly, nauna na nga ang mga kaibigan niya and they even teased him.
Nanatiling pa ring nakatitig si Joshua sa'kin so I broke the ice.
"Kamusta?" I asked giving him casual smile.
His body stiffened and his face was priceless like he didn't see it coming na I would just casually ask him as if nothing happened between us. Akala niya siguro mags-skandalo ako.
"O-okay... okay naman.." he stuttered while answering my question. Halatang gulat na gulat talaga siya..
"Ah, good to hear."
"Ikaw... kamusta?" he asked back at eto na naman yung mukha niya na para atang nagsisisi siya kagad after asking back.
"Okay din naman. Sobrang okay.." I smiled genuinely at him kasi totoo namang sobrang okay nafefeel ko. I'm happy of what's going on around. Happy of everything I have right now.
"Can we talk?" tanong niya and my heart skips a beat. Wait, don't tell me...eto na ba yung hinihintay at hinahanap kong explanation sa kanya?
"Are you going to explain ba?" Deretso kong tanong kagad sa kanya. And it took him a couple of seconds before slowly nodding his head. "Yes."
For some reason, napatawa ako sa isip ko because ang funny lang na parang yung explanation or kaya him, in general ay parang bagay lang nawawala like if you're looking for something, hindi mo makikita and paghindi mo na hinahanap, saka naman magpapakita. You know?
I guess if I'm looking for something, that means I should stop looking for it and let them come to me by themselves. All things come naturally and you just really need to have patience.
"Alam mo Joshua... I'll be honest with you ah.. You see, you hurt me. And hindi ko alam kung ano man yung reason mo why you left me so suddenly without dropping anything. Pero you see, I've moved on and I'm happy now. Kaya ka rin siguro nagtataka bakit hindi ako galit sa'yo kasi I am really really happy now. Matagal ko ng kinalimutan 'yon at kung hindi ka siguro umalis, I wouldn't be able to feel this feeling that I'm just so thankful and blessed na meron ako." Pagsasabi ko sa kanya and there's a sudden lift in me na parang finally, nagkita rin kami and nasabi ko rin sa kanya ano man yung sasabihin ko.
"I know. I always see it. And bakit ang bait mo pa rin after I've done something that is not forgivable?" he then asks at napangiti ako sabay tawa na rin.
"Everything is forgivable Josh. Si Lord nga tinatanggap lahat ng kasalanan even if the person committed a mortal sin yet, He still forgives that person...eto pa kaya."
Ngumiti nang mapait si Joshua. "But you don't know yet the reason why I left you Eva.." sabi niya dahilan sa pagkunot ng noo ko.
I saw him take breathes before speaking again. "Remember nung nag Happy T kami ng mga teammates ko and the next morning yung grabeng text at call me sakin at hindi kita nireplyan?"
