- Honey - mom shook my shoulder and I turned stretching out of my dream
- Good morning Mommy - I said with a smile
- This has just come for you with the mail- she said giving me a box
- Thanks - I said curious, what was inside the box?
- Your breakfast is waiting for you downstairs - she said with a smile walking out of the room.
I stood with the box in my hands going through my childhood room. I was in my parents' country house, the same one where I had spent the best weekends of my childhood - it was country only 50 minutes from London, in Reigate and there I was spending the weekend.
My father had spent a week in the hospital and had been discharged from the hospital 3 weeks ago, unfortunately I had to travel to New York almost at the same day for the start of the filming of my new series The Politicians but in a positive note my producers who knew about what happened with my father allowed me a few days off to visit him in his recovery at home, so there I was. It was good to be with my parents, I was relieved to know first hand that dad was doing well, the doctor come to the house daily, like the therapist with a series of exercises, and papa was visiting the hospital once a week, appointment to which I had accompanied him yesterday.I sat at my desk opening the box that had arrived by mail
- Oh - my hands fell to the sides feeling my heart squeeze sore. Inside the box was a watch in platinum and white gold, one that I had ordered a couple of months ago in a personalized way as a surprise for his birthday... for Rami. It still hurt. It hurt too much. A month had passed and it still hurt as if it had only been yesterday.
I took the small box in which the watch was and uncovered it and turning it in my hands, in the back the inscription that I had thought was read:
"Look at the time, I love you right now"
I bit my lips feeling this pain in my chest and before his memory invaded me as it did every night before I got to sleep I got up and went down to the kitchen
- Good morning little one - my father said hi, who was already having breakfast
- Hello my old man - I said gently leaving a kiss on his forehead.
Dad looked very tired and weak but a hundred times better than how he had looked in the hospital. He was recovering little by little
- Do you want to take a walk with me after breakfast? - He proposed with a small smile
- It sounds lovely - I answered while I started eating my breakfast but it was in vain, I just rummaged the food with my fork.
Rami did not leave my mind, he had never left my mind for a second these 4 weeks, the same 4 weeks in which I had not heard from him. Our groupchat with the boys was dead, they all kept texting to me but separately, it definitely seemed like we had broken not only Rami and I, but Rami and I had broken our group. I had never wanted this. I hated everything, I not only missed Rami, I missed Rami with me and the guys. My heart ached for all this
- Let's go? - Dad pulled me out of my thoughts, I watched his empty plate while mine continued with food
- Yes - I said taking the dishes and leaving them on the dishwasher to go for a walk with my father
It was a beautiful day at the middle of April, the spring air enveloped us as we began our walk, at a slow pace for daddy by the big fields that surrounded my parents' house. We walked in silence and my mind soon took me to him, just remember his name sent a lightning bolt of pain. I had not heard anything about him, nor a call, nor a text from him or me... but I could not risk another hello that would inevitably lead to another goodbye. And I was taking all of me not to text to him, I missed his face, his voice, his touch. I had dreamed so many times so far with him, to have him again, to fix all the disaster that had occurred, he asking me for a new chance. But they were just dreams ...
