UNCONDITIONAL.

what a broken heart feels like x jeongho

[lee minho x yang jeongin]

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0:01 -2:42

what a broken heart feels like
-marina lin-

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—You gave it all away
didn't even let me in
you gave the worst goodbye

"Hyung, can I come over?" Jeongin asks, he seems hushed, quiet and whispery, almost like he doesn't want to be heard. "Of course baby!" Minho excitedly told the smaller, who just ended the call without any bid of goodbyes, the older shrugs it off and waits happily for his lover.

"Baby!" Minho opens his arms wide once he opens the door and it reveals his lover, who had tired eyes and a frown. Minho's big smile turns into a frown when the boy doesn't accept his hug, he tilts his head in confusion, "..but you love hugs?" he said confusingly.

"We need to break up."

—and people ask me how i've been

Ever since Jeongin explained to the brunette that he hasn't came out to his parents and he doesn't want to keep Minho as his little secret anymore, Jeongin needs to find himself. Minho had only nodded and tried to fight back the tears that threatened to fall, closing the door once Jeongin says sorry, Minho sobs and sobs loudly.

"How you've been, Minho?" Woojin asks him, holding the cup of tea with both of his hands as they sat face to face in a busy, yet quiet cafe. Minho breathes in, and he answers,

—So let me tell them
Friday nights got me feeling lonely
Saturdays are when the bottles empty

"Honestly Wooj, not good." Minho diverts his eyes from Woojin's to his lap, he bites his lip in order to bite back his tears. "I've gone back to my unhealthy habits of drinking, I just feel so f*ckin' lonely, I miss him."

——you know this isn't easy

Minho tries to ignore the pity in Woojin's eyes, he nods his head when Woojin says that this is a very normal behavior after a breakup.

—I know that
Your intentions weren't to break me

Minho angrily types on his laptop, stopping once awhile to take a sip out of his wine bottle. His eyes reads over the pixelated words on his laptop, there, posted was mean comments on Jeongin's blog. Many homophobic slurs were added, and many, many pictures. Minho responded to all of them, with so much anger. That's his baby.

—But it cuts so deep, i'm dripping slowly

Minho's eyes shoots open, he can't sleep. The words from Jeongin keeps ringing in his head, he feels dizzy, and it's either from the alcohol or the bad dream. Minho tries to escape the reality, with many bottles of alcohol.

—These nights are getting lonely
So why'd you have to leave me?

Minho stares at the empty spot on his bed, which would always be taken by a certain cherry head, who Minho always attacked with tickles, kisses and many love.

—I'm a mess in the making
Hours become days, and days become months without you

Minho doesn't notice that it has only been four months since the break up, it felt like it was years ago. His days were spent alone, except for the presence of his cats of course. His room started to feel more like a jail cell than a home.

—I've been self-medicating

Minho takes a big sip out of his wine bottle, and holds the metal tightly between his fingers.

—With bottles and blades, glasses of champaign without you

Minho watches the crimson liquid that matches the drink he's drinking, drip down his arm and drop to his precious carpet. The pain he felt was unbearable, but it was nothing compared to the pain Jeongin gave him.

n o w.

Minho sits at the bench in the park, it's dark at night. There were no longer kids running around the park, or bright sunlight. There was only, Minho, his brown paper bag with an alcohol bottle inside and his ever growing depression. His head lolled back and he looked up at the sky, he lets the tears drip.

"Hyung?"

Minho tells himself that he's imagining this, he shuts his eyes closed and tries to stop the tears.

"M-Minho.."

Minho isn't imagining things. Minho opens his eyes and let it travel to his side, there stood Jeongin, under the lights with a sad expression. Minho places his bottle under the bench, he walks towards Jeongin.

"I came out to my parents."

Jeongin gave a tired smile, then he takes two steps and puts his forehead on Minho's shoulder. "Y-You did?" Minho asks, he doesn't bother to wipe his tear stained cheeks. "For you," Jeongin's muffled voice says, Minho's heart clenches. "I found myself," Jeongin trembles, his hand travels to Minho's. "And, I want you." Jeongin finishes, raising his head up to look at the older, who's mouth opens in shock. "I want you, please."

Minho learns that after Jeongin's brave move to come out, his parents had kick him out. Minho lets the younger live with him, the younger promising him he would work and pay rent, earning a ruffle at his hair.

Jeongin comes back into Minho's life, full of love, actual love. Minho stops drinking alcohol, and cutting. Self medicating with Jeongin's soft and gentle kisses.

"I missed you." Minho tells the younger cuddled into his chest, "I missed you and that's why I tried my best to do what I had to do, to prove that I love you."

A little something for you guys since i'm broken hearted and i'm taking a break, I love you guys.