His Shadow

1

I walked in. The place had changed a little bit, but I still knew how to get around. There, to the left were the nice dark grey couches with a fresh orchid sitting on the table. And straight ahead, the elevators. 

My heart raced as I pressed the button. I closed my eyes as I thought of the moment that I was about to experience. I had been thinking about it for a long time now, and it had finally come. 

I placed my hand on my belly, feeling sick. No, it wasn't because of the little boy that was sitting inside... it was because I was nervous. Or excited? I had no clue. 

Maybe it's also because I was feeling a little guilty.

'Stop Maria. Just go up and see him.'

If I was to start thinking about my guilt, I would never stop. Part of me didn't believe that I was guilty, while the other part was making sure I felt like crap.

I silenced my thoughts and counted my heartbeats instead. It took a while, but finally the very familiar 'ding' sounded and rushed a flood of memories into my brain that I set aside. I couldn't be going through my memories right now. I had a much more important task at hand.

Thankfully, it was quite busy and so no one saw me slip by and very quietly make my way to the big wooden door that separated me from... from him. And from a lifelong memory, I would never forget. 

I lifted my hand to knock and noticed that my hand was shaking. I drew back. 

What if he wasn't here? Or what if he was in a meeting?

Oh crap, I completely forgot he was a businessman who constantly held meetings... there was a good chance he was in a meeting. 

I shrugged and walked off.  I didn't want to interrupt.

I was almost at the end of the hallway when I stopped. No, I had to get in there. Even if I stopped a meeting, I had to see him, and if I didn't see him now, I'd... 

No, I wasn't going to think about that right now. I couldn't think about the last few months and how much I already missed everyone. 

With a new fire in my heart, I turned around and marched back, determined to knock this time. My hand was still shaking as I lifted it to knock, but I couldn't back out now. 

I took a deep breath and whispered, "One... two... three."

My knuckles came in contact with the wooden door and then immediately a respond sounded. 

"Come in."