His Shadow

10

I only came back home at nighttime. I had spent the day wandering through the streets, thinking about Misha.

Of all people that I should have been thinking about, Misha was definitely not one of them. To make matters worse, I didn't realize why I was thinking about him. I had tried so hard to suppress all of those memories, and for a while, it actually worked and I hoped that it would last forever. But that's not how life works, and here I was, missing my love.

'Maria, shut up and stop thinking about him. He's not 'your love' anymore, at all. Your 'love' is your husband!'

I nodded. Yes, that was true. I had to find a way to fix my marriage and here I was thinking about my affair. I hated my brain (and myself) sometimes.

I was expecting Alexander to be sitting at the couch, nervously awaiting my arrival. To my surprise, however, he did not do that. He was either at home in his bedroom or in the office. I sighed. Very well then. I'd have to resume this battle another day, like, say, tomorrow?

I smiled to myself as I went to sleep. Yes, yes tomorrow would be a wonderful day to start things rolling once more.

However, much to my surprise, tomorrow was not a wonderful day to start arguments. That was probably because before I even stepped down the last step and opened my mouth to greet my husband he said, "No you are not coming today."

I laughed. "Oh, Mr. Vasiliev you are hilarious."

I walked past him, very strategically brushing his arm on my way to the kitchen. I began to pour myself some hot wonderful tea, whistling a happy tune.

Alexander walked in behind me and stared at me with a confused frown for a while as I continued whistling. "Maria, have you seriously lost your mind? What type of demon has possessed your soul?"

I laughed. "Alexander you are quite funny. Now hurry up and eat, we don't want to be late."

He sat down at the table with a very unnecessary eye roll. "Maria, listen to me. You cannot come back to the office."

"And why is that, my dearest husband?"

He stared into my eyes. I stared back and neither of us wanted to move away and lose this eye battle. 

As we continued to stare into each other's eyes like little kids who had nothing better to do, Alexander said,"You better listen to me, Maria. Whether you like it or not, I am your husband and also it just happens to be that I am also your boss. I am telling you, as both your husband and as your boss, you may not come into work today."

"Ah, really?" I asked, careful not to break eye contact. "Well, as your wife, I am telling you that I am carrying your precious little baby and if you want to have a relationship with your son then you better not boss me around this way.... boss."

Alexander froze to his seat and stared into my eyes, trying to express his deepest regret about ever marrying me. He knew that he couldn't say anything back because for one, he did indeed love our son and he wanted to be a father, I knew that. And two, he didn't know if I was being serious or not about leaving him without a son. 

He had lost and my heart was very happy. I smiled at him and then gave him a wink. I turned around swiftly, understanding that that meant I lost the eye contest, but at least I had won a much more significant contest. I'd let him have this one little win today; he needed it.

"Now hurry along, I'm waiting for you in the car and I don't want to be patient today," I called to him as I walked out the door, whistling my tune.

As we walked into the building, people stared. They were not used to Alexander and me walk in together. I smiled widely and grabbed his arm. He knew he couldn't shrug me off right now, so he just gritted his teeth and suffered through the horribly long walk to the elevator. However, as soon as those doors closed, he immediately shook me off of him. 

I smiled, trying to make it seem like I didn't care. But I was starting to get annoyed with his behavior. He wasn't getting angry enough to start a conversation, he was just getting frustrated and I didn't want that.

So, it was time to spice things up.

I looked down at my belly and gently rubbed it. "You know," I said, turning to face Alexander who refused to look in any degree in my direction, "It's funny that you actually got triggered when I said I wouldn't let you be with our son, you know, because wasn't it you who just a few weeks ago said you don't even believe this is your son?" I let out a laugh and shrugged. "Funny."

Before the shocked and frozen Alexander had a chance to respond, the elevator doors opened and I walked out, giving him a wave as he stood with his mouth open and his blood boiling. 

Just as I closed the door, Alexander stormed in. I whirled around, trying to make it seem like I wasn't thrilled that he was so mad. 

"You... you are a witch. I don't even know who the hell you are anymore, because what the hell, Maria?!" He started out in a quiet and composed manner but by the end of the sentence, I could see steam come out of his ears and he was definitely raising his voice.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, oh, really? Would you like me to give you a nice little explanation as to why you have no idea who I am anymore?"

"Oh please do, I can't freaking wait." He scoffed at me.

I walked up to him. "It's the same reason you got me kidnapped," I said in a low, quiet voice.

He stood still, shocked, and absolutely angry. I knew that I hit a spot that I should have never hit, but I had to. He already blamed himself for everything and I knew it was wrong of me to do this, but I had to. I had to.

"You, Alexander," I said, stabbing him in his ribs with my finger, "Are so freaking in love with your money and your status that you didn't give a crap about anyone else and so people decided to take the opportunity-"

"People? What people, you mean Stephan and his gang?" He interrupted me, slapping my hand away from his body.

"Yes, yes, Stephan and his lovely gang. Now don't you dare interrupt me again, you got it?"

He stared at me for a second and I stared back, daring him to utter a single syllable. Thankfully, he just closed his lips and continued to stare back, very silently.

"Now, where was I?... Oh, of course! They saw the opportunity to get me out of this miserable life so that they could revenge you. And if you had only been the husband that you should have been, then none of this would have ever happened and your beautiful reputation would have been left beautiful. But nooo, you needed so much money and power it was starting to pour out of your a-"

"Maria, have some decency!" He yelled before I could finish. 

I took a deep breath. Maybe I was overdoing it just a little, but at least I was getting somewhere now.

Alexander kept silent, hanging his head. I frowned at this vulnerable and depressed Alexander... this isn't what I was trying to do. I needed him to yell at me as well so we could finally resolve our issues.

"You know what they told me?"

He lifted his head. 

"You're a killer, Alexander. You killed him."