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"Dear God," I whispered as I stepped out of the plane, carrying Jonathan in my arms, "I know I've wronged you many times before, with all of the miscalculated and horribly thought out mistakes I made. But please, let me not make this one. Whatever you think is best for me to do right now... help me to see it and do the right thing. I don't want to make another mistake. Help me, Lord! Amen."

I called over a cab. "Please take us to Vasiliev World Building." 

The driver nodded and headed off. It was strange being in this city again. It seemed like I hadn't been here for decades. Nothing really changed, but I know that I did, and that's what caused me to look at this entire situation differently. 

"Look Jonny at all these tall buildings. St. Petersburg is a little bit different, yeah?" 

He nodded and stared out the window. He was so quiet and calm, even throughout the plane ride. He resembled Alexander so much!

I didn't tell Jonny who we were going to visit. I didn't want him to have any false hopes or unrealistic expectations. Sure, he was only a year and a half, but he was very bright and understood a lot. 

He'd asked me a few times things about where his dad was and when he was coming back. He often thought that Misha was his dad, but I told him that he wasn't his dad already. Nevertheless, often, he would call Misha his dad especially if there were other children around and he felt sad that he wasn't like them.

It broke my heart, and that's also another reason I was doing this. I needed to know if Alex would want to be Jonny's father, or if we needed to go back so that Misha could completely take over that role. 

"Where 'oin'?" he asked, his eyes filled with curiosity. 

I ruffled his hair. "To an adventure, bunny." 

The cab soon stopped in front of the very familiar building. "Thank you sir," I said as we got out. 

I was wearing an outfit that wasn't what I ever wore around Alexander. I didn't know why, but it matched the new me... the one that didn't feel so overwhelmed anymore, the one that knew that she was secure and going to be okay no matter what happened. 

It was very strange walking into the lobby

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It was very strange walking into the lobby. That was because it appeared I wasn't the only one that changed over the many months. 

The lobby was decorated with a lot more vibrant colors. Oh sure, it was still very organized and precise, the colors were still more on a grayscale. But there were now several orchids that were pink and purple. There were some paintings that had a little more life in them, and the tiles on the ground had a pattern to them. 

It was definitely a much different place than when I walked out of here a year and a half ago. I walked up to the main desk. I no longer worked here and I was a forgotten part of the company, I knew that, and so I had to use the main desk as all common visitors. 

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