LIVE (Depressed Taehyung X Reader FF)

CHAPTER 6: I EVEN ENVY YOU

"kitty! I'm home" the door opened revealing a grumpy yoongi. "So.. you just ditched me and went to the park without telling me?" He said crossing his arms. "Oh.. about that, uhh.. I was gonna tell you b--" "uh uh uuh, no buts, you left me to eat dinner alone AND made me worry" he said trying to sound like a mother. I decided to weaken him for now. "Soo.. the cold min yoongi ACTUALLY has a soft side?" I said with a smirk while pinching his cheek. "Look, you're either trying to weaken me... Or you're just flirting with me" he said with a blank face while removing my hand. "uugh.. I want to find your weakness for once" I complained earning a chuckle from him "you can't, because I'm a genius"

We got in and I sat there eating by myself with yoongi on his phone in front of me since he ate before me.

"Yoongi..", "mmm.." he hummed still looking at the phone. "I'm sorry for not telling you.." I said in a low voice. "I forgive you, still, why didn't you take me?" He pouted. "Because I went with my friend" I explained. "I have a feeling you too will end up in a highschool relationship like those anime shojo stories." He blurted out of the blue.
"Not gonna happen. Ever" I stated with a blank face. "Well, who knows.. whatever yoongi says or wants, yoongi gets" he said in confidence with a smirk ."I hate you" I said in regret "I know" he replied innocently.

~~~~~~

Uuugh, it's been 2 days and I haven't seen taehyung. Where the hell is he? Maybe he's just sick? I dunno..

Class began, I was writing when I saw taehyung coming late, he had bags under his eyes and messy hair. "I'm sorry for the tardiness, I promise it won't happen again" taehyung said with his head hung low. "Well, take a seat, good thing we didn't begin to new lesson yet" Mr. Han replied. Taehyung just nodded and went to his seat next to me and dug his head between his arms, not looking at me.

"T-taehyung, are you o-" I was gonna ask him until he interrupted "don't EVER speak to me again, don't come near me, don't call my name" my heart broke at those words as I felt tears on my face. I kept thinking what did I ever do wrong? Still, I knew that this will happen someday so.. why am I sad?

TAEHYUNG P.O.V

Yes. She's nothing but trouble.
What can a mere weakling like her ever do?
I made a mistake.

FLASHBACK TO THE PARK DAY

"See you tomorrow, taehyung" y/n waved and we both went our separate ways. It was very late and I just hoped that mother was asleep. I opened the house door quietly and tried sneaking inside but miserably failed. "Where were you?" I heard mother behind me say in a stern voice. I flinched but tried to stay calm.

"I-i just had extra work at school an-" she slapped me. I tried to control my temper because I know what she's capable of doing.

"You're a horrible liar like always, son. I saw you with someone, you both went somewhere... Now, answers!" She said in an angry tone. I was now shaking in place "i-i was at the amusment p-" she now slapped me hard then pulled me by my hair and brought me closer to her face before yelling

"JUST WHO THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU ARE, HUH?! YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!! HOW CAN SOMEONE LIKE YOU EVER HAVE A FRIEND?!"........I cried........and cried.............

She then gave me a good beating before pulling out something from the drawer, a whip, oh great. She then started whipping me on my arms and back until I was bleeding like, alot. I was screaming and crying. After that, She cleanced the whip from the blood and went to her room upstairs "Stand up and go to bed, you're not going to school tomorrow" she said before closing her room door leaving me on the floor with blood and scars all over me.

I envy y/n, I really do, at least she doesn't have a mother who abuse her every single day for no reason. Mother's right. How could I ever have a friend like y/n, I am just a worthless piece of shit, a waste of space. Why did god create me in the first place when I'm worthless? Why didn't I kill myself when I had the chance. Just when I thought everything was okay, it all had to turn again....

I crawled into bed with all the blood still on me and hoped that I would forget today.

The next day, I woke up and realized, I have dried
Blood on my body since yesterday. I cursed under my breath from the pain and went to take a shower. I let the warm water hit me as a felt a stinging pain on my back. I sat in the shower for like an hour, thinking about life. I then got up and wore my clothes for today. I tried looking for my hair brush but couldn't find it anywhere, so I ended up looking in the drawer, and that's when I found something else; the one and only razor. I never would've thought I'd return to the habit again... But I did.

END OF FLASHBACK

I didn't make eye contact with y/n for the rest of class. On lunch time, I hurriedly took my entire bag and went to the only place that nobody knows of except of me; the old music room. Once I reached there, I coughed as I went in because of all the dust in there. It was an old abandoned place with only a piano in it. Nobody really uses it anymore so I sometimes just sit in it and relax.

Y/N P.O.V

wait, where is he going?
I thought of apologizing for whatever I've done, but...
Was it a good idea to follow him?

TAEHYUNG P.O.V

I took out the razor from my bag and started making deep long cuts on my right arm while laughing weakly yet creeply like a sychopath. "One cut for mother"
i made a not so long cut
"one for the shitty couple"
made a shorter cut
"and this one is made just for y/n"
i then made a long cut over half on my arm. Thank God it wasn't a deep one or I'd pass out from the blood loss. I then felt a presence in here so I looked at my right . it's her.... Oh.....shit. I tried running away but she caught up to me and pinned me to the ground. She was now on top of me with an angry face. I turned my face to the side as I didn't want to make eye contact with her. "Taehyung, look at me, NOW!" she yelled the last part making me even more scared of what's gonna happen. I slowly turned my face to her, as soon as that happened, her eyes softened.

She then let go of my wrists and let me sit straight. She took my arms and started examining them and touching the newly made cuts before bandaging them with the band-aid in her bag. after a while, She let go of them and sighed before saying in a warm and kind voice "taehyung, I want you to tell me all about yourself. I promised to be your friend but it's hard since you never open up to me". At that moment, I got taken by those words and broke down crying. She stayed silent as if she knew it was going to happen. I then felt arms wrapped around me. "You can cry if you want to. I won't judge you. Y'know....boys' worst problem is that they never show if they're sad or suffering, and of course, it becomes confusing for us girls"

She tried changing the vibe a little bit but I just ended up crying my heart out even more. "Ok ok!, I'm sorry!" She said panicking.

~~~~~

After a while of crying my heart attack, we sat against the dusty wall and so, I told her everything.
"So, it all started when I was 13, when my parents got divorce because my father was cheating on my mother saying he 'got bored of her'. Soo... Uhh, after divorce mother started drinking and became so abusive with me. Why you ask? Well it's because I resembled my father alot in the eyes, causing her to get so angry whenever she sees my face" I then took a deep breath before continuing

"I tried looking at the bright side and becoming positive... Until.. that incident with the jiwoo which made me change, I couldn't be positive or myself anymore; to wake up to abuse, be in school to abuse, and get back home to abuse..it was litteraly like...Straight hell on earth"

My hands were shaking, but I took another breath before continuing "because of all that abuse, I became depressed. I became envy of people who are happy with their parents...
I even envy you"

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Oh yeah.. now we're getting serious!

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I hate life...