hardzello <3

4

joe

it's currently 3 am and guess who i cant stop thinking about.  ben hardy.  that stupid cute jock who flirted with me the whole night. god he's dreamy.

the facetime ended at 10, but i couldn't stop thinking about him.  i did take a few screenshots just to keep. he is a cutie. 

i went to instagram to do some snooping.  i found his instagram quite easily.  he had a large amount of followers, unlike me.  my profile was mostly pictures of my art and some great thrift finds. i didn't want to seem weird so i didn't follow him just yet. 

i needed to go to bed so i put my phone down and wrapped myself in a large blanket. that's the only time i felt safe, and able to fall asleep. the thought of seeing ben the next day comforted me. tomorrow would be fun.

ok that still doesn't help i can't wait.

time skip brought to you by being gay.

i was awoken by the sound of my alarm blaring at 6am. 

i stood and looked for a while until i found the perfect outfit. it was nothing fancy just a cute shirt that i liked. i picked up my pastel (i know i wear pastel a lot) rainbow shirt. it made me happy and also look quite good on me. it wasn't anything too distracting, so i chose to pair it with, surprise, my light wash jeans. a cute white belt and my jacket, and i was off to school.

school was boring. i never really had anyone to talk to.  expect for the occasional new kid who moves onto some new the next day.

ben passed me in the hallway during the day, with his football friends, giving me a wink.  i looked down and blushed. 

as he got closer he lifted up my chin, as our eyes locked. 

"there's those beautiful eyes" he says just above a whisper.  he removes his hand from my chin, as i look away a blushing mess

"how's it going pretty boy," he says to me.

"i-i'm a-alright and y-yourself ?" i play with the ends of my shirt out of anxiety. 

ben takes my hand from my shirt "relax baby, it's just me" he say. 

"hey ben who's this?". another jock came up behind us.

"thi-" before ben could finish, the boy grabbed my shirt and i was pushed up on the lockers.  this was normal so i just took it.  trying to run would make it worse.

"is this faggot bothering you?" the boy stared at my and tightened his grip on my shirt digging his fist into my chest.  i looked away tears welling up in my eyes.  it's started getting harder to breath and the walls felt like they were closing in.  i could tell i was having a panic attack.  my vision becomes blurred with tears and all i can hear is muffled talking. 

before i can even comprehend what's going on im released from his grip and pulled into a closet of some sort. 

"shh it's alright joey, i'm here , come on babes match my breathing ok , in  out .." i try to slow down my breathing as he rubs shapes into my back.  i finally come back to my senses and see i'm siting in ben hardy's lap in a dark janitors closet. 

what.  the.  fuck. 

why is ben doing this.  i'm stupid.  worthless.  trash.  he should have left me with those boys. although i'm not sure if my small frame could take anymore beatings.