Crashing Spirit

Chapter 7

Our texting continued, and like I mentioned earlier a romance can fall flat through technology. I tried to make an effort though. I sent him a couple pictures of rainbows and let him know I believed they meant good fortune and good luck. He would say he hoped I was having a good day. We sent good morning texts. Then I made the effort again to see him but he wasn't able to make it out. Nine days had passed without seeing him and it began to hit me that maybe we were falling apart. He worked out of town a lot and I wanted to tell him how I felt, because if I didn't say something I couldn't live with myself. So I wrote him this. 

"In case no one told you today..you are awesome. I wish you knew how big I smile when I'm thinking about you. It's hard to keep you off my mind. We laughed so much together and everything seemed so natural with us. No matter what happens, I will always think you're amazing. Just wanted you to know that." 

I didn't get a response until the next night but it was so nice to hear from him and he said "Just wanted to let you know you were on my mind" , I was very relieved to get that message. I just wish I had given him a call or invited him over when he let me know that but I failed. I played hard to get but so hard to get that he was losing interest and fast. He asked what I was up to and I let him know I was having dinner with my daughter and making spaghetti. He said "Awww. Ok, hope you have a great time!" then I let him know we were about to play jenga next to which he replied " Shweet!"

That was the last text I ever received from him.

I did message him the next day and let him know about the MMA fights that were on, we had planned to watch them together and I sent him a photo letting him know they were good so far. My daughter was with me watching and I said "Hope you're having a great weekend." That was the Khabib- McGregor fight that Conor lost. Looking back I don't know why he never replied, and I don't know why I stopped messaging him at the time either. It may have been due to us both being stubborn or used to being alone. It was October 6th.

Time passed but David never left my thoughts. It was Christmas time and he was heavy on my mind. So much that I couldn't stop thinking about him. I hadn't been to the place we met since the last time we were there and in late December I decided to go out. The weekend after Christmas there was a band there so I went, I really hoped there was a chance I might run into him. Unfortunately I didn't and wound up coming home. I still couldn't get him off my mind and after getting up the courage I figured what the heck and sent him a text. The bar had closed, It was very late, 2:35 a.m. and I told him I wanted to see him. Maybe he was still up. Then I sent him a couple of cute pictures of myself from that night because I had gotten dolled up and said "In case you forgot me" and " If not sorry I bothered you" which was my nice way of saying if he wasn't interested then forget it. After I didn't hear back from him I thought how silly and desperate I must look to him and sent another text saying "Oh wow. I know that was so random. I'm a little buzzed and just got home from the bar. Have not been out in months. Please just disregard those last texts. I'm going to sleep now. Hope you're doing good by the way and had a good Christmas..good night"  even though it was not true that I wanted him to disregard those texts, I wanted him to get back to me and say he missed me too. I wanted him to say he was on his way and we were meant to be. Because in my heart I know when he saw those texts he must have felt something but just didn't know what to do with it. Or something else was going on in his life that he never told me about..the last text I sent him was at exactly 2:48 a.m. It was a Saturday night out.

Then the next thing to happen broke my heart into a million pieces. I was on Facebook scrolling when I read the horrific post by a friend that she was sorry for the loss of beloved David. She was sending her sympathies to the family as well. It was like I got punched in the stomach. I  saw the news story. Man dead after single car accident, just after 2:45 a.m on Saturday morning. He lost control and went off the roadway according to police. His truck struck a fence, a house and a tree and was pronounced dead at the scene officials said. It was overwhelming. This was the 2nd Saturday after my last text. I couldn't breathe.