𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

25. Depression

Lovely- Billie eilish, Khalid

After about 20 minutes there's a knock on the room door and then they walk in.

"Alesia, May you please come with me" a man asks and I nod.

I stand up off the bed and walk with the man but before I exit I look at Corey and he smiles to me.

***

They asked me to enter the room and I slowly walked in.

They shut the door when I was fully in and I saw there was a mirror on 3 sides of the room no wall just mirror and I see my self in all 3. I feel it's easy but 10 minutes in I start feel like I'm being judged.

Soon memories start flooding in when I stare myself in the eyes and I walk up to the mirror wall that's across from the door.

*flashback*

I had walked into the room the girl was in and she pleads for me to not hurt her but im just getting started, my father just cheated on my mom and I found out that he's a gang leader. My fathers a psycho and I feel I'm just like him.

Vanessa is standing by the door on her phone and I walk up and slap the girl.

"Shut up will you" I say and she stops pleading.

"Why the fuck did you cause that scene today at school" I ask and the girl starts crying and I slap her again so she can shut up.

"Because your always quiet and I don't like you" she says and I pull a hammer out of the duffel bag I have, then hit one of her knees. She screams in pain and I smirk at her.

"Delete the video before I cut off your fingers" I say and then she-
*End flashback*
That memory got cut short by another one flashing in.

*flashback*

I was walking down the stairs and I start to feel light headed.

I try to hurry and get down the stairs knowing I'm about to pass out but I was to late I pass out and roll down the stairs and hit my head against the carpet floor but that bitch hurt when I woke up.

*end flashback*

Soon enough all the people I killed were flashing in my head at that mansion I was now screaming and bawling my eyes out, it never effected me until now. I lean up after holding my head in between my legs I feel completely numb like I cried all my feelings away.

I raise my shirt and see how skinny I am, it's disgusting. I look disgusting.

I'm never going to amount to anything I'm not mentally there, I could be physically there but not fully there. Jason was right I'm crazy.

I hate it but I'm gonna embrace it personally. I pull down my shirt and smile.

They open the door and I smile to them and I walk out of the room but I'm honestly very hurt.

***

As soon as I step into the room Corey runs and hugs me very hard and I can't help but stand there. I can't feel the emotion I should be feeling, thankful, happy, loved. Literally nothing.

"I heard your screams, you got some strong pair of lungs on you" he says and chuckles but I just smile and then walk over to my bed and lay down. I stare at the ceiling and I start thinking, I don't need to be in a relationship if right now I'm numb I don't know if I can feel love to him anymore.

I decide to call my mom and ask her to cancel the Christmas party which she agreed to me just wanting to spend my time with my mom.

I then call Jason and he answers almost automatically.

"Alesia" he says like He's worried.

"I think we should take a break" I say but you can since the emptiness radiating off of me, even through a phone.

"No" Jason says and he sounds so serious and I think I just felt a hint of horniness due to his possessiveness.

"I'm sorry, Jason" I say and I can hear his breathing speeding up.

"I said no ok, we're not taking a break, IM SORRY OK FOR TONIGHT, IM REALLY SORRY" he says and I can hear the hurt in his voice and I'm feeling even more sad then I was.

"I can't do this to you" I say in a raspy voice holding back the tears. I then end the call before he can say something to change my mind, I honestly just want him to not have to worry about me and my stupidity.

"Broke up with the boyfriend" he says and walks over then sits at the edge of my bed.

"Yep" I say popping the p and then sighs and look at him. He looks very worried.

"They really got you didn't they" when he says that I nod.

" you still have time to heal you have to heal" he says and it's like those last three words set off a switch in my body and I started crying. He then leans me up and rest my head into his chest to where I'm crying into his chest.

I feel fucked up like I am an open wound and i can't be sewn close.

I'm broken

•••

This chapter stops in the mist of 900 some words.

But this episode was supposed to be shorter like a quick chapter, well ok