Mortal

Chapter 23

Eldwinus sits at his desk, facing me. He taps his fingers. I don't know what to say.

"What? I ask.

He clears his throat.

"You are a reincarnation. You don't have a soul core, and I doubt you lost it in this life."

I feel my chest.

"What's a soul core?" I ask.

"A soul core is the part of a mortal's soul that prevents them from reincarnating. It ensures you enter the afterlife after you die. However, you must have lost it in a past life. This explains a lot, actually."

"My connection to Casnie, Nalla... All those people were me?" I ask.

"Maybe. Casnie was born long before either of them were. She's more likely to have lost it in her lifetime. Which actually explains another thing. Phareth had the black rash when he was a baby. The only way it could have been cured would have been with a soul core. So that's how he survived...," says Eldwinus.

I fall to my knees.

"Phareth and Tsareth knew about this. They didn't want to tell me."

Eldwinus doesn't seem surprised at all.

"Those two keep a lot of secrets. I think this might be their best kept one," he says. "I wonder if Verda knows, too."

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. I feel like everything I've ever known about myself has just been stripped away. My whole life was built around a lie?

"Well, now I know why Verda hates me so much," I say.

I stand up, and jump down from my chair. I don't want to do anything. "I need some time to think."

I walk over to the door. At first, I stare at it, unsure how to open it. The doorknob is above my head.

Eldwinus walks over and opens it for me. I feel like a child; I have to depend on the deities to do simple things, even to open a door. What does that say about me?

I leave the room. Phareth is standing outside.

I look at him. I open my mouth to talk, but I don't know what to say.

He gives me a sort of pleading look.

I finally speak.

"So. I'm Casnie."

He nods, and kneels down.

"I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, but... I was scared."

All this time, every single time they hugged me, every time they laughed or cried with me, were they were doing that with Casnie? Do they even see Shadow? Do they see Casnie when they look at me?

"That's why you two chose me."

He nods.

"But, it wasn't so you could be Casnie! We just... wanted a piece of her. We also wanted to make sure nothing happened to you. Verda signed a contract with us so that you'd be our conciliator every time you reincarnate. We didn't want some other deity to be your master and abuse you."

He opens his arms, offering a hug. I decide to accept it, wrapping my small arms around his huge chest.

"Family?" He asks.

"Family. But make sure, when I reincarnate again, to actually tell me this next time," I say, punching his arm.
He laughs.

"Okay, Shay-Shay."