Grayson can't seem to understand why he feels the need to shrink himself whenever the topic of sex is brought up, and he's trying his best to overcoming the unpleasant feeling but for some reason he just can't do it so he does something desperate.
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Chapter Thirteen | Love Letters
It's funny how you can try to erase someone out your life so desperately, only for them to find a way to sneak themselves back in. After I found out Elon had been talking to not one, but multiple people behind my back, I ruined his car. I ruined the hell out of it because I was just so hurt and felt so betrayed, because I never felt he would do something like that to me. Boy, was I wrong.
After letting all my anger out on one his most prized possessions, I blocked him on everything. I blocked his number, his Instagram, his twitter, and even his Gmail. However, I couldn't block out the feelings I still have left for him. When I found this handwritten letter from him in the mail this morning it's like my whole world stopped. A part of me wanted to rip the shit to shreds and burn it with a match, and the other part of me wanted to just leave it there to rot, forget its existence entirely.
However, I ended up reading the letter. I read the letter so many times, the paper has started to tear along the folds and I cried enough that tears distort some of the ink, but even if the letter became unreadable, I'd basically memorized the whole thing. Now here I was in the schools restroom stall rereading it again, my mind puzzled and my heart unable to comprehend the situation.
Dear Aries
Who knew Elon Tucker could write in cursive?
I know you'll hate me for this, but please don't write back. There's no privacy here and if I got a letter from you, I'd have to answer so many questions. How am I supposed to explain you to these assholes when I can barely explain you to myself?
I do hate it, and God I'm furious. I didn't want to be someone's dirty little secret. I fought hard to be proud of who I am, to shed the shame. I'm not going to let Elon shove me back into a closet.
But.
I also understands.
Elon hasn't had that fight for himself yet. He hasn't had a lot of fights yet. He's been too busy taking his fear and anger out on others - me especially. And I hate him for it, I hate that Elon took his own torment out on people who had nothing to do with it. I hate him, but. I get it, too.
