His Wife

28

He pulled me into his room and locked the door behind me.

"Go on," he said after I just stood there.

Dang, dang, dang! What did he want? A list of all the things I've done wrong went through my head.

I kissed Misha.

But Stephan wouldn't get mad about that, right? I mean, he was making me pretend to be his fiancee and that would only make our roles more believable. So that can't be it.

Did he figure out I was pregnant?

I slapped myself mentally for being so stupid. Of course, he knew by now. The entire Russian country knew! I was on my sixth month and my belly was pretty large; a blind Russian old grandma could tell I was pregnant.

What if Stephan didn't want to me to be pregnant? Would he 'abort' the baby? No, no! He was a very scary and dangerous person but he wouldn't do that. Besides, didn't Misha say that my pregnancy would only make it easier to hide me?

Okay, so what else?

I thought to my deepest fear: Alexander. More precisely, losing him.

I thought hard. I was also very scared of seeing him again. After being away from him for... was it four months or five? Wow, the time had gone by very quickly and I had lost track.

All I knew is that a lot of time had gone by and I didn't want to see him again. No, scratch that. I did, but I was terrified. I had learned so much about him in these few months than I had in my entire two years of being married to him.

It turns out he was the richest person, or at least in the top five, on this planet and his incredible alliance with the governments of all nations made him that much more powerful. That scared me; his power, his influence, and the fact that he forgot to mention it to me.

But I was also scared of learning about him murdering Misha. True, he lived, but at the time he stabbed him in the neck, he definitely wasn't planning on him living. It's only a miracle from God that he did live.

And then, of course, I was scared of showing up with this belly. Even worse, if I showed up with the baby in my arms already. What would he say or do? He did say he wanted children, but I didn't know how much he meant that.

As I had found out in the past few months, he was an excellent liar, and I was very heartbroken to admit that I didn't trust him.

So why was I afraid to lose him? Shouldn't I have been helping plan his death with the rest of the gang?

No, no, somewhere deep down I wanted to forgive him for all the lies he told me. Or, more specifically, all the truth's he didn't say. I wanted to hope that he didn't lie about everything and maybe he did become a different person.

I also maybe wanted him to be the father of his child. I wanted us to eventually get past all this and become a loving and kind family again, the type of family that caused others to be jealous. I wanted that so bad and I couldn't have that without Alexander.

I closed my eyes.

Stephan wouldn't that about me, right? So something else should have caused this 'crisis'.

The letter, my brain whispered to me.

Yes. Yes, the letter. What would happen to me if they found out that Alexander had communicated with me and I didn't let them know?

They would use my greatest fears against me. They would take him away, or they would take me or the baby away. They would definitely make sure I never saw him again.