The Mistake That Broke Me

Chapter Forty Two: Fight or Die

Song: Scream by Thousand Foot Krutch

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The night was a clear one. The silver light of the slivered moon touched the outline of buildings, bathing it in a way that made the sleeping city seem like it was cloaked in a glittering robe.

The night was a perfect one.

A perfect one that would erupt in violence. Violence that falls on deaf ears of the officials of the city.

But that's what Colton thrived on - silence. He didn't want or need, for that matter, attention drawn to him, because what he was about to do would cause problems if the world turned their eyes on the forgotten and neglected.

So nestled in the life that goes unseen by many he shall stay, and nestled in the life that goes unseen by many shall he leave.

Because tonight would mark a new beginning for his future. Where violence ends does opportunity meet, and Colton was more than ready to leave his past behind.

Fingers of fear gripped his heart, because for once in his life, he feared death. Death was a funny thing, he had always looked at it like an escape from the terrors life brings, he saw it as his only true savior and the only cure to the darkest parts of his mind.

He has tried many times to find death before his time, but his attempts were futile.

But at this moment, he feared death. He feared death because for once, he wanted to live. He wanted to live because he had something - no, someone to live for. He had the motivation he needed to finally seek out a life free from crime, free from the effects his past caused.

His nervousness ate at him, his fists balled up to his sides as he walked trembled, but he was quick to gain his composure. He knew it would be best to not let his emotions take over, emotions blocked his focus and when focus was blocked, an unsuccessful fight would occur.

And an unsuccessful fight could mean his death.

His gang called him his family, yet they were ruthless to him. They said they cared for him, yet they beat him and degraded him. They said they were only looking out for him, yet they forced him to murder at a young age.

His gang rescued him, but they also ruined him.

When he had told them that he planned to leave the gang, the gang members treated him worse than the dirt on the bottom of their shoes. They stripped him of the little money he had and berated him. Their words were like poison to his ears and mind, and the way they spoke made Colton realize that they were no different than his own parents who had betrayed him.

He shook with fear but also anger. Deep, unsated anger that made him want to burn the world to ashes. Colton had always let anger control his life - perhaps that's why he joined the gang. The gang was a violent place to be, and where violence thrives, anger lives.

For him, it was a way to express his anger. Instead of dealing with it healthily, he chose to live in a place that demanded violence.

At the root of his anger lies the need for vengeance. Vengeance against his parents, and all of those who wronged him and took part in breaking him. He hadn't learned how to let go of his anger properly, and his idea of a family have been distorted long ago.

But now he was taking a step forwards into finally making things in his life right. He had a lot of blood on his hands, and he didn't quite know how to handle that heavy, unsettling truth. Even when he does leave the gang, the things in his past won't easily be wiped away.