Note To Self (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter Ninety Three.

The pitter patter of rain and the rumbling of distant thunder is what drew Harry from his slumber, the air damp and cold and the world wet from outside his bedroom windows. The light was grey and dreary, and the ground seemed to shake with the sound of another round of thunder. It had been several days since returning from their camping trip, and the streak of sunny summer days came to an end with electric blue bolts shooting across grey rainclouds. Harry laid and relished in the sound, until the rain began to downpour and his windowsill grew wet before he stood to pull the window shut. The carpet had begun to feel damp beneath his toes.

A pair of pajama pants hung low on his hips while he stood and watched the leaves rustle, the grass grow muddy, and the world flicker as the storm rolled in. Wind whipped, causing the neighbor's flag to twist and tangle in the gusts, and for the first time in a long time he couldn't quite relate the stormy weather to his feelings. Despite everything going back to how it had been, spending weekdays at his grandparent's and having nothing to do at home besides stare at the wall, his spirits were high.

It was Thursday and dad had the day off which meant so did Harry. Gemma was gone for the night, she'd run off with friends and hadn't returned come morning time, and other than the sound of the weather, the house was quiet. Winnie had been dropped off at the groomer's, mom had work, and that left only he and his father at home for the day.

The sheet Harry had hung as a makeshift door was pushed aside, and dad stepped through with his eyes glued to his phone. He looked up just long enough to see his son standing in front of the window with flashing lightening crossing the sky, and he glanced back down on the device. "Mom wants to know what to make for dinner."

Harry's fingers were pulled from his mouth, where he'd been nibbling on his fingernails. "I have work tonight so I won't be here."

"Tacos it is."

The clicking sound of him typing out his message was heard between the rumbles of thunder, and Harry began to fiddle with his lower lip. The raindrops were loud, buckets falling from the sky in a way that left the roadway seeming more of a river. Sewer grates overflowed, water falling too fast for the ground to catch up. "Dad?"

He'd perched himself on the corner of the bed, his attention still on his phone while his son looked out to the rain. "What?"

"I want to go to NYU."

That immediately caught his attention, looking up to see the back of Harry's head. His silhouette was dark, surrounded in the blinding grey light of the outside world. Blue flickered, and a crack of thunder followed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he repeated, because he'd thought it over countless times and realized it might've been his only opportunity to truly give he and Aubry a fair shot. Maybe it was for the wrong reasons, his decision didn't have much to do with school at all, but he wanted it and he couldn't deny himself a chance at following his naïve heart. "Hear me out," he started, his hands falling when he turned to look his father in the eye. "New York City, even bigger than Boston and even more opportunities. There's so much out there no matter what I do. There's a chance for everything, all I have to do is show up."

"There's endless opportunities, but that's why everyone goes there," dad reminded delicately. "It's constant competition, you'll have to work your butt off and make yourself stand out from the crowd. Nothing comes easy, opportunities aren't going to fall into your lap just because you showed up." Harry's lips pursed. He hadn't thought of it that way, or really much at all. "Go knowing what you want, and work toward that specific thing."

"I want to go because I don't know what I want," Harry confessed. "I want to experience something different, so I can figure myself out. I want to go somewhere I have a bedroom door, and there's more people than there are trees. I want to go where I don't feel trapped, where mom isn't breathing down the back of my neck and I can actually be myself."