[✅]Skin Hungry [Yoongi X Reader]

Twenty Four 二十四 이십사

2019.12.29, Sunday
0304hours

“Hey Mina"
Mina's head pops right up at the sound of a voice she hasn't heard in a few months.

“Y/N!”

“It’s been a while.” you smile

“Where have you been?”

“I’ve been away. No one’s come and looked for me right?”

“Seo Eun. Seo Eun came a couple times.”

“What did he say or do?”

“Just kept demanding to know where you were.”

“You didn’t tell him anything right?”, you ask, not wanting to deal with in any lifetime anymore.

Mina sighs, “I didn't even know where you were. Besides, you don't trust that I can keep a secret?”

“You told Yoongi when I came back the last time.” you shrug, giving her an apologetic smile. "That didn't exactly give me a vote of confidence. "

“Yoongi is diff... “ she cuts herself off and sighs, seeing you are shutting down on the conversation, “Have a seat, I’ll make us some drinks, I need to talk to you.”

You settle at the table nearer to the counter so that Mina can serve any customers though you doubt there will be any at 3am in the morning.

“Here, cranberry mocha, just how you like it.”

“Thank you…”

The silence between the both of you stretch for a while before you break it

“So what is it that you want to say?”

Mina sighs, “You and I both know that Yoongi is different. You keep lying to yourself, but you know that he loves you.”

Before she carries on ranting, you cut her off.

“Mina, I told him about Seo Eun.”

Mina’s eyes open wide but waits for you to continue.

“And…?” she prods on.

“And what? I haven't spoken to him since.”

“What? Why?”

“How can I?”

“Y/N, don't you realise? You love Yoongi. That’s why you were willing to tell him about Seo Eun. And from what I’ve seen, he loves you. That is why I say that he is different. How long since you ghosted him?”

“Almost two months ago.”

Mina nods, thinking back the past two months “He hasn’t been here since.”

“Don't you see? He’s not… It doesn't matter if I love him or not. I told him about Seo Eun, and now… it’s too late. It’s over.”

“Yoongi hasn’t been here, but his members have. They say that’s he’s distraught. I don't know over what exactly, but I think it’s best that you find him.”

“No… I’ve seen him in interviews and stuff, he’s doing fine. I… I should just stay out of his life. He doesn’t need me, and I’m bad for him. I’m not a good person. I don't deserve someone like him. I don’t deserve anyone.”

Mina is shocked that you have conjured up this mentality that you don’t deserve anyone. She had an inkling of an idea of the guilt you carry over what happened with Seo Eun. She is surprised by how crippling it has become for you that you have failed to recognise something good happening in front of you. That you can’t see that Yoongi loves and you thinking that your love for him is not good enough for him, that it will harm him. Mina hadn’t realised that it has grown this much that it is destroying a positive relationship for you. That it has come to a point of self destruction.

She reaches out to hold your hands in hers.

“What will it take for you to forgive yourself unnie…?”, Mina calling you by the term she hasn’t used in years, hoping that it will get through to you, “Why can’t you see that you’re such a good person? Who else would have helped me out with this place? You tutored me, you were there for me through all my hard times. You were there for each and every heartbreak your friends went through, even when you were struggling with your own issues. You have always had this self hate thing going on. How you don't earn enough, you’re not capable enough, you’re not a good enough friend. People have hurt you, yet you still continue to love them. Why can’t you love yourself? So what about Seo Eun, he is as much at fault but he’s living his life happily.”

“You don’t understand Mina. I should have been stronger, I should have left, I shouldn’t have started anything. If I hadn’t been lonely and craved companionship, or looked for someone else…”

“Unnie, Seo Eun is very good at playing up with emotions. What more that you loved him back then? You loved the wrong person at the wrong time. Don't beat yourself up over it. You’ll carry this regret for the rest of your life, but don’t let the guilt cripple you. You deserve to smile, to laugh. You deserve happiness.”

“Mina, I can’t, I have to go.”
You stand up abruptly not wanting to continue this conversation, absolutely adamant in your own view that Yoongi will be better off without you.

You also didn't want Mina to see the tears in your eyes, to know exactly how much you're hurting, how shattered your heart has become.