JUST A LITTLE BROKEN|| t. s.

Chapter 24: My Doing

I sat next to Loki in his cell, staring at the metal doors ahead of us. We were back on Earth. Apparently, Lucilla was able to slow time and made us disappear for only a span of five minutes. I didn't know how she did that. And I didn't plan on knowing yet. There were lots of shit in my mind.

Different thoughts ran wild in my head, as a sigh escaped my lips and I groaned in frustration. This is so not how I wanted to spend April. Trying to clear my thoughts, and desperately trying to sort it all out, I let out another frustrated groan having failed in rearranging my thoughts. I spread my legs on the metal floor in frustration, and banged my head backwards to the wall I was leaning on.

Hearing chuckles from beside me, I tilted my head to Loki's direction, my eyebrows creased in annoyance. "Shut up, you're not the one bombarded with shitload of stories," I huffed. "And they're not good ones."

"Love, I know exactly how you feel," he said, leaning his head on my shoulder. I was surprised, but hid it, having remembered how we used to do this all the time back in the Grasslands. I heard him sigh. I sighed as well.

"Loki."

"Yes?"

"What happened? What's happening?" I ask, my frustration and angst getting the best of me. I felt tears prick at my eyes and my fingers shake, a habit I always had when I felt anxiety pick up on my nerves. "I saw you after you fell in that abyss, and I-I-I just- The whips, and the screams, and you were crying, a-a-and I felt like I was being hit too, and I was just so scared for you." My voice came out like a whisper as a tear slid down my cheek.

3rd Person Point of View
The room was quiet, as a sniff came from Elise's already red nose. There was a quiet tension, as Loki sat up straighter, stopping himself from being vulnerable. Leaning on her shoulder was already one thing, he thought. He wanted to be cold, he wanted to act as if he didn't care about her. He wanted to stop the fast beating in his chest and the fluttering butterflies in his stomach whenever he heard her name and whenever she looked at him. He wanted to stop the sudden jolt of electricity that shot up his spine whenever their skin touched and whenever she smiled or laugh or just became happy because of him. Loki was someone when he was with her. Loki was not the shadow that he thought he was when she talked to him. Most of all, Loki truly felt loved because of her. And Loki was thankful. Loki, never in his life, has he had someone love him like Frigga did.

But no. After the truth came out, after the abyss, he just needed to push her away. He didn't want to, but he needed to. He saw darkness, felt it, and was engulfed in it. He was enraged, and as he fell into the darkness, plummeting, the world around  him turned into an array of colors, and the each star shone, brighter than the last he saw.

Closing his eyes, he waited for his death.

But it never came.

Minutes after, his body endured the impact and he was trasported into a world full of... Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But its nothingness fueled its darkness, sending horrid chills down his broken body.

Loki closed his eyes, trying his hard to not relive the memories of whips and fires, metals and pins, stabs and kicks.

It was a time of pain. Just thinking about it made him relive the pain all over again.

"It's hard to explain," Loki said quietly.

"We have time," Elise whispered, staring at the ceiling. The side of Loki's lips lifted up a bit. It was a sudden quirk with a hint of sadness and bitterness.

"I don't expect you to understand," Loki whispered, wringing his hands together. A sudden pang jabbed at his heart, as he gazed at her, seeing the tear that fell from her bright brown eyes.

Elise looked at him. She tilted her head slowly to the right where  he was sat, sighed, and smiled sadly.

"I can listen."

Loki returned the sad smile. Something came over him, as he looked at her hand laying  limp on the floor. He took her hand in his, twining his index finger with hers, and slowly fully holding her hands, fingers intertwined loosely. Elise sucked in a shaky breath, staring at their hands as she felt that familiar warmth in her stomach, the fluttering and the electricity that shot up her spine. It was alien and familiar at the same time. Her heart raced faster and faster as she let herself be overcome with the sensations that he brought. It was calming, something that a few people can make her feel.

"Loki, please, talk to me," Elise silently pleaded, as another tear fell from her eyes.

At that moment, they were just two wounded and broken souls, showing all of their battle wounds that never healed and battle scars that never faded. Their hearts beat erratically, as they both squeezed the hands in its state of intertwine. The hum of the Hellicarrier pulsed beneath them, as Loki closed his eyes in attempt to calm down, not being able to watch her cry, let alone because of him.

"I'm scared."

And there. The truth came out. Two heart shattering words left Elise surprised, as a small and sad laugh bubbled from her dry and pale lips.

"Scared? I'm horrified, Loki," she told him truthfully.

"I... I..." Loki stammered, his silver tongue twisted in knots. "I don't know what's happening E. Everything is so messed up. Tha-That moment when I fell, I just..." His voice trailed, as he squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back. 

Loki's Point of View
It was a whirlwind of emotions. I felt anxiety and panic course through me, and I didn't bother trying to hide it from Elise. She knows me too well.

"It was horror. Finding out that you were just another stolen relic... A child of a monster. An instrument," I breathed. "I can only take too much. And to think I'm renowned as the God of Mischief and Lies."

Laughing bitterly, I choked on a sob as tears started streaming down my face. Her hands intertwined tighter with mine as I felt her arm slip through mine, enveloping me in a side hug that I very much appreciated. She tightened her hold on me as I limply returned the hug, resting my chin on her shoulder, and slumping in the most ungodly way. Her hands shot electric bolts throghout my body making me shiver, appreciating the heat that she gave off. Her face was nuzzled in the crook of my neck, feeling the bridge of her nose on my collarbone. Inhaling, I breathed in her unusual smell of ocean breeze and sea salt with a hint of caramel. It wasn't her usual chocolate, vanilla, and strawberries... But it worked perfectly well with her. She always smelled good.

"I never meant everything that I've done. Everything I've said. I was consumed by rage and anger and jealousy, it blinded me to a point that I didn't know who I was anymore. If I was that frail and curious boy... Or that power hungry, raging God. I lost control Elise. I lost all control. Falling in through that abyss, it transported me to the darkest and most evil places in this vast multi-verse. This isn't my doing."

'No... It's mine."

And before I could further explain, my eyelids closed and I was left in darkness, as I see the bright blue eyes and sick purple skin of that one horror that turned me into the monster that I am now.