HAPPY FUCKING 19TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M 19!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I MADE IT THROUGH 18 AND 17 AND 16 AND 15 AND ALL THOSE YEARS!!
I'VE HAD SO MUCH BAD STUFF HAPPEN TO ME IN MY LIFE. I HAD AN ABUSIVE FATHER, A VERBALLY (AND EMOTIONALLY) ABUSIVE AUNT, I DEALT WITH SO MUCH BULLYING THROUGHOUT MIDDLE SCHOOL, INSECURITY, SEVERE DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. I WAS SO MISERABLE FOR A MAJORITY OF MY LIFE. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK I'D MAKE IT PAST THE AGE OF 17.
BUT LOOK AT ME!! I'M FUCKING HAPPY!! I'M HAPPY!! I'M LOVED!! I'M FULL OF LOVE AND LIGHT!! NO POISON CAN INFILTRATE ME!! NO EVIL CAN INFILTRATE ME!! I'M FULL OF JOY AND KINDNESS AND LOVE AND PEACE AND LIGHT AND SUNSHINE AND I HAVE A GOLDEN HEART!!
AND I'M SO PROUD OF WHO I'VE BLOOMED INTO!! I'M PROUD OF 18 YEAR OLD ME FOR PUSHING THROUGH, FOR BEING DETERMINED, FOR FINDING A LIGHT IN THE TUNNEL OF DARKNESS!!
THINGS WILL ONLY GET BETTER!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL!!
