Precious Things || Jensoo

Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

The project is over and my life is about to go right back to where it was. It's surprising, really, that after spending so much of my school life alone and only a few short weeks with company that I should miss it already.

I'm walking with my grandfather to school and we're not speaking. It's not that I'm in trouble or that he's mad; we're not NOT speaking, we're just not talking. That's fine by me.

I say goodbye at the gate with a sense of wistfulness and just plain exhaustion. I'm sick of my life. For a brief few weeks I'd been given a window to another world and now I'm just sick of what I have. This is the problem with getting things: you never miss what you never had.

At least things at home are stable. I know what to expect at home. Yes, my grandfather is strict beyond even the most comprehensive definition of the word. And I hate him sometimes, especially when he punishes me for the slightest infraction. And, yet, he at least gives me one thing: stability. There are never any surprises.

Jennie is a whole different kettle of fish. She's done nothing but surprise me since the first time she said a word to me. Maybe that's why I always have butterflies in my stomach when she's around.

Or that could be because she looks so damn good in those jeans. And that skirt. And that top. And every other thing she wears.

I guess I'm going to have to go back to admiring from a distance.

Maybe we can be acquaintances, the kids who wave and nod in passing but don't really spend any time together.

I perk up at that thought as I walk across the school yard.

I'm bolstered by the fact that Jennie smiles in me in at least two of the classes we have. I sit in my normal seat, she sits in hers. She and Krystal have their usual conversations, which mostly consist of Krystal harping on about something and Jennie making snide comments.

I catch her kissing Jongin in French and, oddly enough, it doesn't kill me like it normally does. I'm just happy that she's still acknowledging my presence. By the time lunchtime comes around, I'm seriously considering going to the lunch room and just wandering by her table slowly to see what happens.

In fact, I get so far as to be standing outside the room when my courage deserts me. I can't. I can live with her smiling at me. It's a complete change from when I used to be the nerd she picked on or the person she didn't notice.

I can't put my finger on why she now treats me like a person, but she does, and I'm happy with that.

If she never really spends any more time with me, it's a change I can live with.

But once again my little heart has raised its hopes up and I don't want to have them dashed. So I flee to the library like the coward I am, and spend the rest of lunchtime reading a novel so that I at least give myself one guilty pleasure.

The next day is a little easier. Having fallen back into the routine of things I'm more willing to just let things slide. Or at least, that's how I feel today. I smile through my classes, and since Jennie is still acknowledging my presence, I get some courage to make it to the lunchroom.

And then it deserts me again. I'm about to turn and head out the door when I hear my name.

It's Jongin again.

Not exactly what I'd hoped for, but in a way, better than nothing.

I turn back around and head over to their table.

"Hey Jongin, Jennie," I smile at them. "Krystal."

"Fuck off."

Krystal is always so charming. I'm emboldened by the fact that Jennie shoves her gently in the arm on my behalf though.