Chapter 3

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It's been four weeks since I slept with Charles and ever since, I've been throwing up a lot.

"I think you should go see a doctor." Zoe says as she pokes in her bag.
"I'm-fine, I'm just a little sick that's all."
"Okay well, I think you should go take this. You've been throwing up every morning." Scarlette says as she hands me a pregnancy test.

"What's with you guys? I'm fine, there's no way I'm pregnant."
Scarlette and Zoe share a look of concern before shrugging and saying their ok's.
I know deep down that I'm not fine but I know I'm not pregnant. It has to be something else. Being pregnant is the last thing I need right now.

~~~~~~
The girls and I have been planning a trip to Jamaica for a while now but now their saying we're not going until we know for sure I'm not pregnant. I reluctantly agreed just to please them, I knew I wasn't pregnant.

Scarlette went to the store and bought me a new pregnancy test.

"This is so stupid guys. I'm not pregnant."
"Maybe, but it doesn't hurt to rule out that option. You've been throwing up every morning, you barely eat now and there's probably so many other symptoms that your having and not telling us. Just trust me Natalie, I know what it's like to be pregnant."

Scarlette was pregnant before but then she had a miscarriage.
"Just do it Nana and hurry up." Zoe says.
"Fine I'll do it, just to prove that I'm not pregnant and I'm fine."
~~~
"Did you do it?" Zoe asks when I come out the bathroom.
"Yeah, now we just have to wait and see."
"So if its two lines you're pregnant and-" Scar says as I cut her off.
"If it's one line I'm not pregnant, I get it."

~~~~~~
We're all sitting on my bedroom floor, waiting for the god damn test results. Finally my phone alarm that we set goes off. That means it's time to look.

"Do you want me to look or do you want to look at it by yourself?" Scarlette asks. I really didn't want to look but I knew I had to do it by myself. "I'll do it."
I go into the bathroom and hesitantly look over at the counter. I take a deep breathe before walking over to it, closing my eyes and grabbing it.
With my eyes closed, I'm hoping and praying that it will say that I'm not pregnant. I sigh before opening my eyes and looking at the test. I instantly feel my heart drop. I blink, hoping that my brain is just playing games with me, but it's not.

Walking out of the bathroom with the test in my hand, I felt a overwhelming rush of sadness wash over me. I just couldn't believe it.
I close the bathroom door behind me and look at a waiting Scarlette and Zoe.

I close the bathroom door behind me and look at a waiting Scarlette and Zoe

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I smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. Right away Zoe knew.
"So, what does it say?" Scar asks.
"....." I took another look at it. "I'm pregnant......" I say letting out a dry laugh. "I'm pregnant..... oh god I'm pregnant." I say when my dry laughter turns to crying. "I don't want to have this kid."

Both Zoe and Scar come to me and hug me. Scar is crying as well but Zoe, she's the tough one of the group.

"Hey hey look at me, I know that you weren't ready for this baby but a baby is a blessing from god and no matter what happens we will be here to help you with anything that you need. Okay? We'll be this baby's aunt and-and Finn, well Finn will be his or her uncle and we'll be one big family okay. We're here and we're not gonna leave you alone in this."

They both hug me tight as I feel a little bit of relief.

~~~~~~
It's been two days since I discovered that I'm going to be a mom. The only question is do I tell the father?
I thought the morning after pill worked but I guess not. Now I just have to go see my doctor and make sure that I'm really pregnant.
~~~~~~~

"So I got the blood test results back and it looks like you're pregnant, four weeks along."
"Four weeks." I say to myself. It's been four weeks since Charles and I. I zone out for a little bit thinking about how I'm going to do this.

I went home, only because Scar and Zoe have to go do some shooting for a magazine. I'm just so lucky to have them in my life right now.
I realized that I didn't feel like being alone so I went to my mom's house.

Everything was fine until I had to tell her. Tell her that she's gonna be a grandmother.

"Are you sure you're fine honey?" She always knows if there's something bothering me.
".....Mama, can we talk?"
"Yes, honey are you okay? Is everything okay?"
"...Yeah it's just I was thinking that I should be discharges from the army."
"What why?"
"..... because in 9 months, I'll be showing."
"Wait....showing?....are you pregnant?"
"Yeah- yeah I am and I don't know what to do." I immediately start to cry.

"Ohhh honey, what do you mean? Did you talk to the father?"
"We had an agreement, that what happened between us should just stay between him and I but a baby? What am I gonna do with a baby that I didn't even plan for?"
"Hey you're gonna be a good mom to this baby and no matter what you decide, you will have all of us here to help you, I promise honey. At first it's tough but I know you'll do just fine."

"You think so?"
"Yes honey and if the father isn't in the picture then it's okay, you got this. We got this."

Her words made me feel a lot better. I knew I had to go talk to Charles. I knew that we had an agreement but this, this is bigger than anything. There's a baby between him and I and he has the right to know that I'm carrying his baby.

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