Unexpected End of First Love

Chapter - 41 (Past 2 )

Nandu

I felt guilty about Anu's health condition. I almost know everything about her. But, somehow I missed that little detail about her allergy. I pity myself for this never ending session of self complaining. As Surya said, I will stay a little away from her, from now. Not because of his warning, but because of my over confidence about myself, I had hurt her. This might repeat. And I don't want that. I will be, as usual, remain as long distance buddy for her.

Nishi aka Anu

I recovered two days later. Though I'm sick, I'm not that much dull and depressed because of the constant reminders of care from my parents and Surya. I felt so refreshed, like the flowers after a small rain. I'm in a state of silly joy, with the kind of emotions, I'm feeling towards Surya. He is making so many attempts, to keep the conversations engaged, to be in contact with me through out the day. Asking me whether I have taken the medicine or not, whether I'm feeling okay or not, am I alone, or am I feeling low, like anything that forms an invisible bridge to reach each other. Though I haven't seen Surya in this 3 days (including today), but I felt like, he was so near me, around me. It's not like I am hallucinating or something but, he was there in my mind, all the time. Which is making me to anticipate, to go to school, to see him, to feel him, to know how it feels to be near him, with him. Am I acting like the cheesy female lead of some Teen fiction books? Aren't the movie makers take inspiration from reality. So what if I am like that? I'm really, literally a teenager, who wants to see her boyfriend, after a three days sick leave, a three days of care and concern, three days of missing each other. Am I feeling like this because of hormones or loneliness? Do I deserve him with all my insecurities and insufficiencies? I let them slide ignorantly for now. Because these thoughts are so depressing, ruining my happy mood. And I don't want that. I don't want be like that anymore, lacking self confidence. I want to enjoy every moment in my life, my new life. I want to cherish those things that not even in dreams but now happening like a daydream. Hope it never turned into a nightmare. Noo... Not again. I should keep away the insecure thoughts as lengthy distance as the smelling socks. Worst comparison, I think. So what? Smelling socks are not at all to be kept at a safe distance, that's true right?  What I am even thinking!!  Ufff !!

Though, I am merrily anticipating for tomorrow, I have developed few brilliant questions in mind like, how to make him understand what I'm feeling, about him? How to approach him tomorrow? Am I needed to dress up or have some perfume on me? Does he feel the same as me?  When he confessed about his love for the first time, in library, how does he know I am the one? How dare he to confess me like that? I'm not against it or cursing him, but how much brave he has, to propose like that. I never said nor no. I never explicit what I thought about him. Does he know that I feel something about him? Do I have to say it aloud, as a confirmation for him. That's a difficult task for me. What I even have to say? We are not that much adults to love and then we are not immature ones to get attracted. How good it will be, if we have some telepathy relation so that I don't have to say anything and I can know what I want without asking. But it's just lest. I want someone to ask all these and get answers and advices. But whom to ask? I can't ask my parents, that will make our dinners even more awkward than now. Naren will laugh at me if I ask things like these. A girlfriend is all I needed right now, I mean, a friend who is girl. But, who will be that?

To be continued.........

           Want to know what happened next.....wait for my next update. If you like the story, vote for me. Comment your opinions.