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M
Yesterday's confessions plagued my mind as a new day creeped in. Varying from Olympia's admission of jealousy wrapped in a gift like peace-offering to Damien's desire for a relationship and the hardships that came along with it, I found myself pondering.
In regards to Olympia, I felt our conversation was unfinished. Truthfully, I wanted to know more about how she felt living the life she lived. It was clear she hated it and that hate for it clouded her judgement when it came to me.
Seeing it all from her point of view, I understood where she was coming from. If only I'd gotten the chance to hear it all. Had Cori not interrupted me, I'm sure I would've, not that I minded Cori's presence.
Familiarity was needed.
At the thought of that, I recalled Cori's news on Melissa. It had been days now and we still weren't in contact with each other. I feared this was the end of our friendship, something I never would've foreseen as I'd taken Melissa to be like a sister to me.
In the space of almost a year, I was losing something I valued greatly for something I was still so unsure of.
A relationship with Damien was causing large rifts between my friends and I and I couldn't ignore that. A relationship with this man who made me feel like I was the only girl in the world worth caring for, brewed chaos in a matter of months and that ongoing turmoil seemed to only grow.
Was it worth it?
Was this what I wanted for myself?
To live life on the edge, always looking over my shoulder but knowing that Damien would be there for me was a life I would consider on paper. Like a fairytale, I'd allow myself to be swept away but this was reality and reality hit hard.
I'm here to stay...I'm not going anywhere
His words held a promise that I believed wholeheartedly. Yet, I remained conflicted and torn as Melissa's face crossed my mind, paired with Gio's. The guilt I felt grew daily.
I was living in comfort, without fear to a degree, while she was at her mother's place worried about what was to come next.
That guilt gnawed deep, latching onto my heart with a fierce bite and the scars of it festered as I tossed and turned in my sleep.
When I woke up I was restless. It shouldn't have been a sleepless night when I'd comfortably settled with Damien the night prior after our talk.
I figured he'd once again brought me back to my room after sleep had taken me. When I went downstairs, I met with Julius who had returned. We caught up briefly and he informed me that Damien would've waited for me to wake up but he had important things to do.
