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M
Nervous.
Scared.
Happy.
Conflicted.
I felt so many things all at once. So many emotions jumbled in a chaotic bundle that left me feeling stuck at the notion that I was pregnant.
Eleanor's motherly intuitive words replayed like a broken record in my mind in relation to the symptoms I've been experiencing. Not to mention the fact that my period was late—I'd be naive to think I wasn't...pregnant.
I spent the night bleeding into a new day pondering on the daunting reality—a part of me wishing it wasn't true and another not entirely minding it.
I wasn't against having children. If anything, I wanted children but to have them now?! I didn't know if I was ready? I didn't know if I would make a fit parent considering my upbringing and my worst possible fear was that I would become my mother in some ways.
I feared being a horrible mother. I feared being a disappointment. I feared so many things as the promising dream of having a family of my own became a possible reality.
Would I be a good mother?
'Look, maybe my mother's intuition is wrong but you won't know for yourself unless you take a test'
Eleanor's words came to my mind again, reminding me of what I had to do today.
My quiet footsteps trailed down the steps, quick to approach the door when I stopped at the sound of a voice calling out to me. "Where you going, tesoro?" I craned my neck to see Damien standing outside of his office.
Dressed in a dark fitted t-shirt that revealed his muscular tattooed arms and some casual sweats, he crossed his arms over his chest while he peered over at me.
Damien left last night to handle business after dropping me home from the party following my conversation with Eleanor. I didn't see him this morning after waking up either, something that I was guiltily grateful for as we had yet to talk after our small falling out.
I readjusted my bag over my shoulder, parting my lips to say. "I'm um, I'm gonna go see Lolo." A lie—well not really as it was true. I intended to see her today—more so I needed to.
He glanced down at his watch, with an eyebrow slightly raised. "It's going to 11am—don't you have your lessons with Nick at 11:30?" He reminded me and I mentally cursed at my forgetfulness. It was Friday.
"I'm not going today. I'll ask him if we can reschedule—" Damien's eyes narrowed scrutinisingly. Biting down on my lip, I shifted my gaze away from him, making him sigh. He gingerly approached me, closing the gap between us with just a few strides.
His scent caressed my being, providing me with a warmth I missed as he drew me in. My hands came to rest on his chest, my gaze still lowered until he tentatively lifted my chin up. "Can we talk first?" His words made my stomach turn and my heart flutter.
