Jensoo One Shots

Sweety Tweety

Kim Jisoo is an interesting character. Jennie discovered that early on, when they first became friends and bonded over their love of obscure Netflix shows. They've been friends for months now, and they've spent many an afternoon curled up on Jennie's couch binge-watching series after series and biting their lips to hide their smiles as their hands brush when reaching for the popcorn. Jisoo's funny and sweet and so smart and Jennie's been working up the courage to ask her out, but there's just one problem.

She's never been to Jisoo's place. At all. Ever. Not once.

And that would be fine, honestly, except it's been months now and Jisoo gets really shifty about it. Jennie will walk her home after work sometimes, and they'll linger outside her apartment, but Jisoo always rambles off some reason why Jennie can't come in for a drink or even to just check out where her new best friend lives...and Jennie's starting to think something's up. Is she in a relationship and hiding it? Is she a total slob and embarrassed? Is she a hoarder? A pikachu collector? Does she keep human body parts in jars? What's the deal?

It baffles her enough that one day she just decides to ask, and then she makes the discovery that Jisoo apparently has a pet parrot, and-

"You don't understand, Jennie, he is very, very rude."

"What'd'you mean, he's rude? I can't hang out with you at your apartment because you have a rude pet bird?"

"Yes, you-" Jisoo pauses to expel a long-suffering sigh, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. "He's—he'll cuss at you, he'll—he says all sorts, you never know what will come out of his beak, I don't want you to hear..." She clears her throat and Jennie watches in amusement as the tips of her ears glow pink. "I mean, he's just a jerk, I don't want him to offend you."

Jennie snorts. "If your bird cusses at me, I'll cuss him right back. Honestly, Jisoo," she shakes her head as she gathers up their food and sweeps past Jisoo toward the apartment, leaving Jisoo to squeak and hasten after her, hesitating before she reluctantly opens the apartment door to let Jennie in.

Jisoo must be crazy, Jennie thinks at first, because the culprit in question is nothing short of adorable. He's small and gray and has cute, brightly colored toys in his cage, and the way he looks up at Jennie with his head cocked to the side tells her he never gets guests.

"Is this him? The big bad reason I've never stepped foot in here?"

"That's him all right," says Jisoo, eyes narrowed on the bird, a type of maternal crossness in her gaze as though she's warning him with it.

Jennie laughs quietly and tuts her tongue at the bird, glancing at Jisoo to make sure its okay before she wiggles her fingers through the cage, only managing to stroke his back once before he shuffles farther over on his perch. "What's his name?"

"Sweety."

Jennie laughs again. "Sweety? For irony, or are you just overdramatic?"

Jisoo scowls, making Jennie's grin widen. "Soojoo named him, she calls him Sweety Tweety. They get along famously, which makes perfect sense because they're both assholes who live to make my life difficult." Her scowl deepens. "He also went by the name of Ed for like, a day. My ex-girlfriend was the one who brought him home, but Soojoo came over that night and the name she gave him stuck."

They dig into their food before it gets cold and Jisoo seems to relax as they make their way through the pizza. It isn't until Jisoo gets up to make tea and asks Jennie if she wants any it that things get interesting. "Yes, Jisoo," she answers her, and Jisoo nods before disappearing into the kitchen, and then the bird talks.

"Yes, Jisoo." Innocent enough; Jennie smiles as he repeats it. Then his voice drops an octave, emphasizes the first word.

"Yes, Jisoo. Yes, Jisoo. Oh yes, Jisoo."

Jennie stiffens on the couch, eyes widening, wondering if the bird is actually doing what she thinks he is—could birds even have sultry voices? What the hell?

When Jisoo comes bustling in with wide eyes and pink cheeks, it confirms it.

"Oh God, you set him off," she says, and immediately cringes afterward.

"Oh, God," croons the bird, "Oh God, yes. Yes, Jisoo. Oh God, yes, Jisoo!"

"Um." Jennie reaches over to grab the cup of tea Jisoo had set on the couch, more for something to do with her hands than anything. "I didn't realize this is what you meant when you said he's rude."

"I'm sorry!" says Jisoo, face flushed and in a bit of a panic as she tries, without avail, to put a blanket over the cage to shut Sweety up. It does nothing but muffle his voice slightly, which he compensates for by raising it. "He's—I mean, he's just a little shit. They're like toddlers, they do it for attention, he—"

"Harder, Jisoo. Harder!"

Jennie chokes on her tea.

"Shut up," she hisses, rattling his cage slightly.

"Jisoo. Oh God, Jisoo, yes Jisoo, harder Jisoo-"

"Oh my God." Jisoo scrubs her hands over her furiously blushing face and drags them through her hair, turning to look helplessly at Jennie. "I am so sorry. He's—I brought a girl home once and made the mistake of bringing her here in the living room and I forgot about him and he—he hasn't been the same since. At first I thought I traumatized him but he only does it when there's company so I think Soojoo was encouraging him, giving him treats because she found it hilarious, but now he's impossible, but I can't give him up because he's like family, so I just never have anyone over instead."

And Jennie is laughing then, so hard that tears stream down her face, partly because this situation really is hilarious and partly because she doesn't want to think about the fact that Jisoo's obviously given some girl a good enough time that it's imprinted itself on this parrot and turned it into a porn loop, and she gave her a good time maybe even on this very couch Jennie is sitting on, and now she's blushing even harder because Jisoo is very, very pretty, which Jennie has only been far too aware of for the past few months since they became friends.

And now the bird is moaning and Jennie can't do anything but laugh, because Jisoo is absolutely mortified and Jennie is too, and it's never ending.

"Shut up, Sweety, please, Jesus—"

"Fuck! Fuck! Oh God yes! Harder Jisoo! Yes, Jisoo!"

"You are such a little shit, I swear I should feed you to the cat next door!"

"It's okay," shouts Jennie over his wailing, still spluttering with laughter, "He doesn't know what he's saying, Jisoo, he just—"

"Oh he knows exactly what he's saying" snarls Jisoo, "He's a little shit!"

"Jisoo yes!"

"No, Sweety, bad bird!"

"Jisoo yes!"

"Jisoo no!"

"Jisoo yes!"

It takes another twenty minutes but the bird eventually settles down, probably because Jennie takes pity on it and Jisoo and eases her aside to remove the blanket and slip a few treats from the box beside the cage into it.

"Thanks," says Jisoo, exhausted and still flushed pink. "That...definitely doesn't help and if anything just further cements the behavior, but thanks for finding humor in the situation."

"I mean, it is pretty funny when you think about it." She leans over to brush a kiss to Jisoo's overheated cheek, smiling when Jisoo swallows and her gaze flits over to her, brown and close. "Kinda wish I came over here sooner, honestly. Maybe next time I'll bring some bird treats so I'm better prepared."

Jisoo raises her brow and smiles, leaning in closer to Jennie. "There's going to be a next time?"

Jennie rolls her eyes affectionately. "Jisoo. Yes."

"Jisoo no," says the bird loftily.

Jisoo scowls while Jennie looks incredulously at the bird, who only sips his water as though it's tea.