but maybe I need you.

Chapter 13. you are my home.

" morning baby " she whispers in my ears
" uhhh sar'bear what hour is- " I said before falling asleep again
" it's 10 am, your sisters knocked at the door multiple time I didn't know what to do? " She said trying to woking me up again
" oh shit! I forgot, how am I gonna tell them for all of what's happened uh" I said with a desperate tone.
she looked at me, taking my hands in hers.
" baby, it's gonna be fine, c'mon we have to woke up and-"
She barely had the time to finish what she was saying, I kissed her, I just wanted to feel her lips on mine.
she kissed me back, smiling at me I could feel it, kissing her was like my first kiss every time even if I know it wasn't but it always felt the same the butterflies in my stomach, me smiling like a baby, I guess it's what we call love.
Then we woke up after cuddling for five, ten minutes, she took a shower and so I did, she put a blue jeans with a stripped T-shirt, and her stan smith, and I just put a basic black jean with a red pull.
I went downstairs, stressing about how I will them them about mom, and about my relationship with Sarah, one is supporting lgbtq, but my other one is the homophobic and racist, what a perfect family.
" y/n who is she " cath said smiling
" well just take a sit, where is layla ? "
" she is in the kitchen, do you want her to come ? "
" yea.. "
my sister's sat on the couch, and I sat with Sarah on the other, i could see how Sarah was uncomfortable.
" layla, cath.. did the hospital called you? "
I said with a stressed voice almost trembling
" no, we weren't at the hospital yesterday I thought you were there ? " cath said
" well.. I'm sorry.. mom.. mom is gone "
my sisters couldn't talk, they were sobbing and was barely able to breath properly, I could see how sad they were compared to them they were really close to our mom, i couldn't tell them for me and sarah now, they were too emotional.
" y/n.. who is that person with you? " she asked twice and I was thinking if I tell them or wait.
" Her name is Sarah, and she is my girlfriend" I said playing with my fingers
" wait are you lesbian? you never told us?"layla said with a disgusting look
" I told cath only, I'm bi if you want to know, but I'm happy with a woman, and this woman happened to be Sarah. " I said looking at Sarah, taking her hand in mine.
" I'm so happy you found happiness y/n, still sad to learn it in those days, but still probably the best new of today! "
" thank you cath"
" This is so wrong y/n! how can you fall in love with a woman? I mean men are more attractive " layla said rolling her eyes
" your opinion not mine. Also I'm not with Sarah just because she is attractive, yes she is attractive as hell, but also because she have a heart for people, she is the kindest and most adorable, and to be honest with you layla, I don't care what you think about this or me.
I said without even cared about what she would tell, Sarah was blushing she was just so cute and I know she don't know how take compliments.
" girls, don't fight about that, layla open your mind sometime , and y/n I'm glad you are happy, don't let someone ruin it "
I nodded and so layla did. We talked about how we met cath was still shook about how it's happened but was like so excited to see me with someone, I wasn't an happy person since my dad died in an accident, and Sarah changed my life. Also layla is such a child she only is 11 so I guess that's why she is that mean, and cath was almost 14, they were young but cath was more mature. I don't know how they will do since our mom is gone I mean they can't live on their own, they are too little for that.
I told them I would take care of them, but I forgot about one thing they live in Paris and I live in Los Angeles how am I going to take care of them if they are far from me.
Then I got that idea to take them with me but they said I had to still studies, they don't want to be a bother to me.
" maybe we can live in Virginia s'house? Cath said smiling at layla almost asking if they should go there.
" yea, whatever you want, she don't like me so well I don't care, and she is such an asshole"
" for god sake layla! You only are 11 why are you talking like that uh? well I will call our aunt and ask her if it's okay.
They both nodded, Sarah was still really silent, she was shy in front of my little sisters, god I can't believe I got afraid and stressed to tell them about Sarah and I they are like not even 15, I tell to myself before calling our auntie. Then our aunt said yes, I drove them to Virginia's house and I left kissing cath forehead, " take care of both of you girls, I'll be there for the funerals.. and then I'll be back to Los Angeles is that okay for you ? "
They nodded again. My aunt and I talked for a while before leaving, she knew about Sarah and I, because I called her when it's happened and all, so she was one of the only one to truly understand me.
Sarah and I, moved back to my mom's house, after driving for one hour we got back. We dressed up with something comfy.
" baby? Can I ask you something ?"
" yea? " I said doing a little bun with my messy hair
" when are your funerals'mom ? "
" it's in two days " I said looking at her with a sad face
" it's alright baby, you can cry.. she is free now, and in a better place" she said pulling me into a hug.
Then I hugged her so tight
" Sarah, I don't know what I would do without you, I can't and couldn't imagine my life without you " I said sobbing in her shoulder
" oh baby, this is the same for me, you mean the world to me." She said stroking my hair softly
she looked at me smiling, and I looked at her smiling back at her
" anyways aren't you hungry, we didn't eat all day"
" what about we cook something because yea, and we could watch a movie ?"
" sounds good to me "
" what do you want to eat ? "
" well I don't know, perhaps lasagna? "
I said okay, preparing everything for the lasagna, Sarah is bad at cooking, last time she tried to cook she burned the kitchen, but it was so cute because she was trying to cook even if she knew she wasn't good at this.
Lasagna was almost done after one hour, Sarah was looking at me, standing behind me, half on her butt on the table, she got closer and kissed my neck, I turned my head on her side and then she kissed me on the lips.
we took the lasagna to the table near to the couch, we sat on the couch with a blanket, after eating we were still watching the movie, she delicately put her head on my shoulder.
After two hours and some minutes the film was over, we decided to go to bed after we did brush our teeth.
sleeping in each other's arm like always, and I can say I missed the warmth of her body against mine, I missed her lips, her hugs and everything about her, being far from her was the worst thing.
" sar'bear are you sleeping?"
" no are you okay baby? "
" yes, um I'm sorry, I'm sorry I acted childish, I left you, because I was afraid I- "
" oh babe, don't be, I told you I understand the decision you took and that's okay "
" but I left you for stupid things, and I knew and still know that without you my life as no meaning.. you are my home Sarah "
" you are my home too baby, that's okay don't think about this anymore. Try to sleep, sleep well. " she said turning in front of me, kissing me in the forehead and then she fall asleep.
I looked at her sleeping while I was trying to do the same, but sleeping wasn't a easy thing for me, because I think too much, but in her arms everything looked so much more easy, more beautiful, I fall asleep with those last thought, thinking how lucky I am, to be with her, because it wasn't that easy because of our age gaps.

I hope it's not too bad, I'm writing this at 5 am oops, let me think what you guys think about it.

- Lau<3