but maybe I need you.

23. Stop!

Henlo everyone okay so.. I'm sorry for this shitty chapter, don't be mad at me for the middle of the chapter and stuff and read until the end uwu <33

I was still checking and liking every Kate's pictures, because her pictures are amazing and so is she.
I texted her.
Kathleen 🥰 : hi, we can go in a party today? I got an invite
Y/n 💕 : of course I'm out of work at 10pm
what I was doing, I said to myself, just going to a party to have some fun nothing more I tried to say to myself I wasn't doing something wrong but it was, wrong.
I went to my bathroom put some makeup and brushing my h/c hair, straightened them and then I was ready at the exception that I didn't know what to wear. I pick a simple red dress, and add a little touch of red lipstick, my favorite.
I went to Kate's house, waiting for her in my car.
to kathleen 🥰 : hey I'm just in front of your house, I'm waiting for you
to y/n 💕 : I'm coming kitten, just a minute and I will be right here
A few minutes later she was there, a beautiful red dress with sparkles in it, and a bun, she was truly gorgeous.
" your beautiful tonight" I said smiling at her
" so are you, but just tonight? " she winked
" everyday, but especially today you look amazing, and thank you "
" well thanks, let's go to that party"
I drove until the party, it was a big thing with actors and stuff like this, I remember why I was invited because I used to be with Sarah and Sarah is a mondial celebrity and now I'm invited everywhere.
" wow, how do you know those people? " she asked
" friends of Sarah, who became friends of mine, because Sarah is a celebrity. "
" whaaat- I did not know that, am I like just the replacement for her ? " she said disappointed
" not kate you are absolutely not. It's just that I wanted to invite you, let's have fun okay? "
" alright "
we started dancing like crazy ladies, and singing, and Kate was literally meowing and laughing, I swear that laugh make me feel so dkczkdnsk yes that's what I feel actually, which is a whole mess. I can't allow me to feel this no I can't, why am I feeling this for Kate, I can't I said to myself sitting, looking at here still dancing and smiling.
" c'mon dance with me y/n"
" I don't danceee " i said out loud cause there is a hard music
" pleaseeee" she said doing her cat cute face
" right" I said taking Kate's hand not even having time to finish my drink that I was already dancing with her
We were dancing and having so much fun, I was kinda drunk and so was she. I called an Uber because I could not drive like this, we went to my house, sitting on the couch, she started to open her mouth to say something but I wanted to talk first.
" Kate you are not a toy for me or a replacement for my broken heart about Sarah and-"
" I know y/n.. I just- I thought I were straight 2 months ago and now I feel those things for you that I can erase, I can't stop thinking about you, and I know you still love your girlfriend but- maybe we could.. try? "
" oh kate.. the hardest thing is that I love you both, I love you differently but you make me feel things magically and- why life is so fucked up." I said tears running down my face
" I know.. you have all of your time to think about it okay? don't worry about this" she said taking my face between her hands
I looked at her deeply in the eyes, still tears in my eyes, I was looking at her lips, her perfect lips, she approached her lips to mine and I did the same, and ours lips were touching and we just kissed passionately and softly, I ended up cuddling her in bed and I still thinking about if Sarah woke up and see me with someone else, what she will thinks of me, and Kate? I can't broke Kate's heart, she is so pure and honest, and truly adorable with everyone, but there is this- My mind was a total mess and I was trying to fix all of it. But I knew I could not do this to Sarah, I will just end all of this, Kate can't be my priority, Sarah will always and even if she doesn't woke up, I will never stop loving her.

the next morning ;
I have to talk to kate and tell her that I might feel something but it's not love, it's only fear to lose Sarah and to be alone again. I know it now it was just something weird.
Kate woke up after a few minutes, I prepared breakfast, and I was really nervous about what I will tell to her.
" hum... Kate? "
" yes? " she said smiling
fuck- how I will do it, c'mon y/n I tell to myself.
" I thought about this a lot yesterday you know and it's wrong and I always knew it's was not a good idea. I'm sorry kate i don't- I don't want to hurt you.."
" but you did. You still think about Sarah and I do get it but she won't wake up so what? are you still going to love a dead person? " she said tears in the eyes, yelling at me
" A dead person ? Are you fucking kidding me, get out of my house, you can't say that. You can't, she will wake up, and we will start again her and me. " I never wanted to hurt kate but she hurt me with those words.
" I- I am sorry i didn't meant that, it just that I feel something for you, don't you? don't you think it can be a possibility of a us, you and i?"
" I'm sorry kathleen, truly sorry, but I can't do this to Sarah, I love her and- no this is impossible. "
" alright I take my stuff and I'll go.. "
I started crying not because I was sad of he leaving and me being alone again, no because I just thought for one second what if- what if Sarah never woke's up?
After she was ready, we talked a little trying to fix all of it, she said we couldn't talk anymore but that was okay, I understand.
She went straight to her car, not even a look towards me.
I knew at this moment I have to be there for Sarah, every time I think about Sarah, I can't just erase her of my life and be happy, I can't even be truly happy without her.

I went to take a shower and dressed myself up, and went to the hospital, just in case Sarah woke up, or a good new.
" hi, where is the room 232 ? "
" just here, at your left "
" thank you" the room change almost all the weeks and this is annoying cause I'm getting lost in this hospital.
I opened the door to see Sarah still in bed, her white skin and closed eyes, I sat on the chair next to hair, taking her hand and kissing her forehead and every time it was like this, but there is never any sign of her being alive.
I was tired and I just closed my eyes for a minute still holding her hand, but I swear I felt her hand moving.
" Sarah?... Sarah? "
" I-..."
" oh god sarah you are awake" I said literally crying, I saw that she slowly was opening her eyes

give me your opinion, are you guys happy, Sarah is aliveee, xx