Me and you

See you later

Leaving him to go through security was the worst part. We kissed and then hugged for a long time, neither of us would let go. Tears formed in my eyes and started to make his shirt wet as I buried my head into his shoulder. He caught on that I was crying when he heard me sniffle.
"Hey, hey don't cry. It's okay, you're gonna be okay,"
"I don't want to leave," I mumbled into his shirt
"I don't want you to leave; trust me. If it was up to me we'd be shipping all your stuff over and you'd be staying here for as long as you wanted," Colson said as I continued to cry into his shirt. "Dev, you've got me going now Jesus Christ," He said. I looked up at him and could see the tears in his eyes
I half laughed and half cried some more "Oh my god, don't because that will make me cry even more," I said
Colson wiped a tear from my cheek and cupped my face with his hands "I love you. I'm in love with you. I don't even know how to describe it anymore. I'll love you in L.A, I'll love you in Cleveland, I'll love you anywhere. And I'm going to miss you like fucking crazy, but I love you so much and you need to tell yourself that every day. Okay?"
I nodded "Colson Baker. I'm in love with you. I don't know how I went from hating you to being in love with you, but here we are and I'm so happy about it. You're the best person I've ever met; and I don't know how I'm going to function without you for more than about 20 seconds, but I'll figure it out. I love you," I kissed him again- for one last time- and said "Goodbye,"
"Nope. Not goodbye. See you later,"
I smiled "See you later," I started to walk into security before I herd Colson shout my name. He was stood there with his hands above his head in the shape of a heart. He looked stupid as fuck, but I was too in love to not smile and do the same.

Thankfully, I managed to hold it together whilst I got through security. But the second I got into a bathroom stall, the hot, salty tears streamed down my face and I placed a hand over my mouth to stop myself from sobbing. It hit me properly that I was leaving him for two months, and no amount of texts or FaceTimes would make up for him not physically being with me. I managed to sort of compose myself, dry my eyes with the toilet paper in the stall, take a deep breath and walk out of the toilets. I just kept telling myself that it was going to be okay; because it was. I trusted him, he trusted me, we loved each other; so it was all going to work out. And if it didn't, it just meant we weren't right for each other in the long run. Everything happened for a reason and I wasn't about to go and tamper with fate and the universe.

I got a warm welcome home from Connor when I got back to the apartment. I didn't reciprocate his level of excitement and energy, partly because I'd been up since 2am, but mainly because I was missing Colson. A lot.
"So what are you doing today?" He asked me
"Go go sleep, then go visit my parents probably," I said. The thing with my dad scared my whole family, and I knew I had to visit them more often.
"That's cute. I need to go be in the studio all day today, but tomorrow night we're going out," Connor decided
I deliberated for a minute "I don't know; I don't really feel like going out,"
"Because you miss Kells?' Connor asked. I nodded in reply "If you go out, it'll take your mind off things. Come on, we never go out anymore,"
I sighed, he wouldn't give up without a very long and exhausting fight "Fine. But drinks are on you,"
"Okay, deal."

Astrid and I had an impromptu lunch date because we were very much overdue a catch up, and I needed my older sisters advice on the whole situation with me and Colson.
"So how was the rest of your time in Ohio?" She asked
"It was good. But I need your advice on that guy," I said
"Kells?" She asked. I nodded in confirmation "If you're in a friends with benefits thing like I told you not to do-"
"No I'm not! Well; I don't know what I'm in really. I love him, and he loves me, but we're not a couple. We act like a couple and we do couple things but he's not my boyfriend; but it's more than 'seeing each other'. But now I'm back in California I won't see him for so long and I don't know where we stand," I tried to explain
"I think I get what you mean. Like if you don't know if it would be okay for you to hook up with someone from college whilst you're here,"
"Yes!" I exclaimed "Exactly like that. I'm so in love with him, but since he's so far away all the time I wouldn't be able to handle the whole long distance relationship thing; so I don't know what to do,"
"Do you want my advice?" Astrid enquired. I replied with a 'obviously' and she began "I think you need to call him or FaceTime him or whatever and suggest having an open relationship. So basically when you guys aren't together you can screw whoever you want, go on dates with people and even have other relationships. But then when you're together you can just pick up right where you left off, you know? Also you have to tell anyone else that you get into a relationship with that it's an open one," She clarified at the end.
"That's actually a really good idea. Thank you so much,"
"You're welcome. I have to give you that sort of advice as your sister; and first best friend. And favourite best friend,"
I rolled my eyes "Yeah yeah,"