A Star For You

Nineteen

Estelle opened her eyes slowly, finding the room she was in dark and quiet. She blinked, adjusting to the lighting and tried to sit up. She winced in pain, her back and neck extremely sore and a punding headache formed in her head. She didn't try to get up again but instead moved her head side to side to get a better look. At first it made her dizzy and nauseous but she managed to get over it and noticed curtains surrounding one side of the bed she was in. On the other side were other similar beds and tables. She knew at once she was in the hospital wing, from the smell and the beds that surrounded her. It took her a minute for why she was in here in the first place but it soon all came rushing back. She felt a bit embarrassed for why she was here, since she had magic and all. But accidents happen. 

She nearly screamed, finally taken notice to the slumped over body at her left side. She kept quiet though, realizing the person was sleeping. She knew at once from looking that it was Severus Snape. 

She held her breath, not sure what to do or what was happening. He had ended things and made it clear that he did not want her near him whatsoever, so why was he here, sleeping and by her side? 

She stared at him for awhile, just watching him. His face was turned towards her so she could clearly see his face, though some of his long dark hair was covering it, had fallen when he fell alseep. She took this time to closely look at his face which she was unable to do for so long. It couldn't hurt to take this small minute to look, after she promised herself she would ignore her pounding heart and go back to not thinking at all once she left the hospital wing. It would hurt but she had been hurt worse.

His eyebrows were scrunched up even while he slept and he looked tense and uncomfortable. She also noticed dark bags under his eyes which were not relaxed at all even while he slept. His face was pale and cold looking, Estelle's hand almost reached out to stroke his cheek but she held herself back, knowing the contact would make her feel worse later on while she tried to ignore him. One of his hands though looked to be near hers and she wondered if he had been holding her hand while she was sleeping. 

Her curiosity and need to hear his voice again got the better of her and she found herself pretend sitting dramatically which resulted in him stirring, not really waking up from it. But as she kept moving around, he eventually woke up, startled and temporarily confused. He practically jumped up into his seat and wildly looked around. He calmed down when he found Estelle hesitantly staring at him from her bed. 

There was an awkward silence but Estelle would not tolerate that so she smiled at him. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." She whispered into the quiet hospital wing. There was only one other person here and they were sleeping soundly on the far side of the room, far away from the two of them.

He gave her a quizzical look at first but then turned away. 

Estelle's smile faltered but she tried again, "I must be some sorry excuse for a witch if I couldn't even walk down some stairs properly." She had no idea what she was saying or why she felt so calm and acting cheerful. Her head was pounding and her thoughts were all over the place. 

Severus' head swivelled so quickly at her, his hard and controlled mask breaking the moment he laid eyes on hers. Her lips were trembling and she had tears swimming in her bright blue eyes the moment the two made eye contact, his dark piercing eyes breaking her controlled and pushed down feelings. 

"Estelle--" he croaked, real emotion breaking in his voice for the first time in so long from seeing the heartbreak in her eyes.

She shook her head, trying to wipe at her tears. She didn't want to cry at this moment but they just kept coming. "No. I can't do this, Severus. I ca-can't be near you while loving you while you push-push me away." She cried, the tears flowing more and more. She began to hiccup.