pink but punk, my kitten

~31~

again, the songs aren't adore's. the first one is called 'intro (slow)' and the second is called 'walls', both by quinn XCII. the album these songs are on - the story of us - is such an important set of songs to me, and i really wanted to use 2 of my faves :,). 

Adore POV 

5:23pm. 

"i was wondering if i could hear some more of your music." bianca quesions calmly, lifting her eyes from the book in her hand. 

"why is that?" i ask, my throat dry. 

"well, ive only heard you sing 2 times, and i wasnt fully conscious to actually appreciate it the second time, so i wondered if you would be comfortable with showing me some more songs?" she eplains, smiling at me. i take a few deep breaths before nodding hastily, getting up to grab my guitar from the corner of the room. 

"slow? fast?" 

"one of each?" she offers, biting the inside of her lip. 

"if i can, yeah. the songs i usually write are kinda depressing, by the way." i chuckle, checking the tuning. she nods and closes her book, setting it to the side. "uh, i guess the slow one i could is 'slow'?" i try to think, landing on that song. it was shorter, yes, but i still loved it. i pluck a few chords, checking it was the right pitch before starting the melody. 

"Don't feel inspired by the faces I see
Flawless on socials, but can't possibly be
They're like someone imperfect, not even 18 on a screen
I move on to someone else
Ready for complicated nights with just one
I love the thrill, but chasing all of them is done
'Cause soon as I act more than a late night, they run
Oh, they run, they move on to someone else," i look up to bianca after the first verse, seeing her face practically glowing with pride. my heart swelled, giving me more courage. 

"I'm not looking for perfect, just for somebody who
Holds it down when I'm hurting, lifts me up when I lose
There will be days when I can't function
There will be nights I won't sleep
I'm not looking for perfect, just for somebody who takes it slow
Just for somebody who takes it slow," i loved this song so much, it conveyed alot of my emotions, without having to speak them. feelings had always been hard for me, especially the negative ones. swirling around inside me, threatening to spill out at all the wrong times, never knowing how to learn to control them. 

"Don't need a subtle taste of what's left unseen
Those odd behaviour's, oh, they come off obscene
Yeah, I need a life of my own to blow off some steam
That doesn't mean that I don't want you (I don't want you)," i cant remember when i wrote this, but i remember going through a stage where i hated everything, including myself. songs were my escape, and they still are to this day. 

"I'm not looking for perfect, just for somebody who
Holds it down when I'm hurting, lifts me up when I lose
There will be days when I can't function
There will be nights I won't sleep
I'm not looking for perfect, just for somebody who takes it slow." i finish and look back up at her, seeing the same expression. 

"you are so talented, you know? your songs are so powerful." i blush and look down, fiddling with one of the strings. 

"thank you." i whisper, clearing my throat. "want to hear a faster one? im not as bad as i thought i'd be." hse nods silently, watching me carefully. i take a minute to think of one, and remember the lyrics to it, seeing as it was one of my oldest songs. 

"I find it hard updating you where I've been
Just know I'm there, just know I'm there
All these credit cards judge me on what I spend
I sense your stare, I sense your stare," i love this song, i wrote this when i was 16, if i remember correctly. i was foolish and thought i was in love, but he was a manipulator, like most of the people ive been with.