The Decision

Chapter 7

That evening, Lexa was, yet again, standing at her bedroom door with her hand firmly holding on to the knob. Still, she had been avoiding going in, but after the day's events, she thought perhaps, she might be ready.

How amazing it had felt to be back with them again. She had missed that, she had missed them and God, had she missed Clarke. Clarke looked absolutely amazing. As Lexa had absolutely expected, time had been nothing but kind to her. Just to be sitting there talking to her again after all of this time filled her with warmth that had been long since forgotten.

Finally, Lexa took a deep breath, turned the knob and pushed the door open.

Just like the rest of the apartment, everything was exactly as it had been the last time she was there and again, Lexa felt as though she had been sucked back in time. Other than the normal cleaning that the maid did weekly, the room seemed completely untouched. Suddenly her eyes fell on a framed picture that was sitting on a shelf, it was the only picture Anya hadn't put away. It had been taken at Clarke's parent's annual barbeque. For one week in the summer Clarke and all her friends would converge at her parents place for what they called: Family Time.

The first summer after they had all started spending time together Clarke had asked Lexa, Anya and Lincoln to join them. They had all melded so perfectly into the group that everyone agreed that it had only seemed natural that they be there too. Tears were swimming in her eyes as a memory floated back to her.

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She was sitting on the couch with Clarke, Raven and Bellamy and due to the lack of space, Clarke was practically on top of her, with her legs laying across hers and her arm across her shoulder.

"So, how long have you two been together?" Abby, Clarke's mother, asked as she entered the room with Octavia.
Clarke looked up. "Oh no, Mom," she said pointing at Lexa, "we're not together."
"Oh, I just assumed, after seeing you two the last couple of days. I mean," Abby paused for a moment. "Really, you're not?"
Clarke shook her head and returned her attention to the television.
Lexa grinned and also shook her head. They were used to this by now.
Abby glanced at Octavia. "Am I crazy?" She asked, not so quietly.
"Nope," Octavia replied smiling. "They don't see it."
"Are they blind?" Abby whispered playfully.
"We can hear you, you know?" Clarke said not looking at them as Lexa just shook her head.

That night they were all lounging on the back deck, passing around plates of food as they reminisced about years past, sharing memories and telling stories trying to embarrass one another.

As the moments ticked by Lexa was trying, and failing to ignore a feeling that had started building in her chest. Though she'd been hanging around all of them for quite a while, this felt different and she couldn't figure out why. She continued watching them all for a while, but when the feeling she was experiencing finally made its way to her eyes, her breath caught in her chest as she realized what was about to happen. She jumped to her feet, knocking over her chair. "Excuse me," she said speeding back into the kitchen and leaving everyone with a look of utter shock.

Lexa was standing at the sink with tears freely falling from her eyes when Clarke came up behind her. "Lexa?" Her voice was soft and caring as her hand fell lightly on Lexa's back. "Hey, what happened?"
Lexa trembled at her touch and shook her head. "That's what it's supposed to be like," she said as she turned and looked at her, "isn't it?"
"What?" Clarke asked, with tears starting to form in her own eyes.
"Family." Lexa whispered, trying to choke back a sob. "That's what it's supposed to be like."
"Lexa," Clarke breathed, the look her eyes told Lexa that she understood and before she knew it, Clarke was pulling her into a tight embrace and rubbing her back gently.
After a few minutes of crying, Lexa took a deep breath and leaned back. "You really have something amazing here, Clarke," she said, wiping her eyes.
"Hey, you're a part of it," Clarke told her. "Look, your parents are awful and they suck, but you don't need them. You have us. You're a part of our family."
"I'm not," Lexa shook her head. "I'm not a part of anything."
"Of course you are," Raven's voice filled the room and turning they found her and Octavia standing in the doorway.
"Claimed, remember?" Octavia smiled kindheartedly. "Clarke might have pulled you in, but Lexa, we all love you."
"See?" Clarke whispered, nudging her elbow.
The corner of Lexa's mouth twitched as another round of tears welled up in her eyes.