The Decision

Chapter 9

A couple of days had passed and Lexa was sitting at her desk up to her neck in paperwork and trying desperately to focus. This was proving more and more difficult as all that she could think about anymore was Clarke. Anya's comment about the floodgates opening was still fresh in her mind. She shook her head, grinning as she suddenly remembered how foolishly she had acted after she and Clarke had actually kissed for the first time.

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Lexa was sitting in her parent's living room, waiting for her mother. That morning, she and Clarke had kissed and it had been, in one word, perfect. It felt amazing and wonderful, but then when Clarke didn't seem to have the same reaction, or much of one at all, the only thing that Lexa wanted to do was get out of there as fast as she could.

Suddenly her phone began to go crazy and Lexa rolled her eyes, almost afraid to look at it.

O: LEXA!! >:( What did you do?!
Raven: Are you kidding me???!
Raven: Anya, are you with her?? Smack the shit out of her!
Anya: I am not. What am I missing?
Raven: Lexa kissed Clarke, and then asked her to leave!
Anya: Smooth.
O: Lexa! Fix this!
Lexa: There's nothing to fix. It was just a kiss.
O: What?! Are you crazy? You just devastated her!

Lexa stared at the phone. What the hell was Octavia talking about?

Lexa: What are you talking about? Clarke said it herself – it was just a kiss.
O: Are you really that blind?
Raven: Seriously, how can you be so hot and yet, so dumb?
Lexa: Fuck you, Raven.
Raven: Pass. Clarke on the other hand...
Lexa: Stop that!
Anya: Ok, that's enough. Raven, stop being an ass. Lexa, stop being so stupid.
O: Lexa, listen, we can all see how much you care for her, but what you can't see is that she cares just as much about you. She feels the same way that you do!
Raven: STOP BEING STUPID, STUPID!

Lexa threw her phone onto the couch. She didn't want to do this. Well, she did, but she couldn't. She couldn't. Clarke had barely even reacted after they kissed. What if they were wrong? Clarke meant so much to her, too much. From the moment they'd exchanged their first words, it was like they'd known each other forever. She never wanted to return to a time where she didn't know Clarke. If they were wrong and things went bad, she could lose her and if she lost her, then she'd lose herself. There was something in their friendship, something bigger than both of them. She needed Clarke.

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Lexa phone suddenly began to ring, pulling her out of her thoughts. Quickly she picked it up and brought it to her ear. "Lexa Woods," she said quickly. "Hello?"
"Hi," Clarke's hesitant voice came though the phone.
"Clarke?" Lexa's eyebrows went up curiously. Why in the world was Clarke calling her? "How did you get this number?"
"I didn't. I called your fathers office and they patched me through. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," Clarke explained quietly, "after, you know, Raven, being Raven."
"Yes, I'm fine," Lexa assured her. "I think once you're used to Raven, you never actually become unused to her."
Clarke laughed lightly and Lexa leaned back in her chair enjoying the sweet sound. "We should have lunch sometime." The words left her mouth on their own accord. "What do you think?"
"I think breakfast would be better," Clarke responded quickly.
"Yes, breakfast is always better," Lexa agreed as her lips stretched into a smile.
"Well, how about tomorrow?" Clarke asked suddenly. She almost sounded hopeful.
Lexa stood up, not sure of the right way to respond. She rubbed her forehead lightly. Was it wrong to go to breakfast with Clarke? No. She decided. It was just breakfast. Plus, how could she try to repair their friendship if she didn't actually see her.
"Remember that diner a few blocks from your place? We could meet there," Clarke's voice came again. "Lexa?"
"I'm here," Lexa answered, "Tomorrow would be great. What time?"
"Eight o'clock?" Clarke suggested.
"I look forward to it," Lexa accepted.
"Me too," Clarke sounded pleased. "Okay. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing now."
"Bye Clarke," Lexa said as hung up the phone and sunk back into her chair.